Wishing Away Time

Be careful what you wish for…

That saying keeps popping in my head whenever I hear someone talk shit about 2020.

I don’t disagree that this year has been tough for many people. It’s seen us isolate away from family, friends and coworkers, even therapists and doctors. People that needed surgery are on a waiting list and if you need a driver’s test… you’re going to have to wait a long ass time in line. We have had to adapt to working from home, wear masks everywhere (we even need them to put out garbage and check the mail in our building). We’ve learned to stand in line to shop for necessities. Some have been out of work since March and are struggling. And this isn’t just in Canada, it’s around the world.

In Canada, it could be worse. Yep, I said it. It could be. We are asked to stay home when possible, we have food and our government is doing it’s best to support those that are struggling. They’re trying to support businesses and we have our awesome healthcare system.

I’m recapping the obvious because I want to ensure we get the point. Life can always get worse. 2016 was a shitty year for me so I wished it away. 2017 was gonna be better. It was going to be “my year”. I was so excited to move on and alot of people echoed that sentiment at the time.

Turns out..2017 got worse for me. Like life altering, bone shakingly, never back to that person kind of worse. That’s the year we lost Kayla. Most of that year is a black thick dense muddy fog for me and the rest of my family.

So therein lies the point of what I am trying to get across. Let’s stop wishing away 2020 because holy crap people we have no idea what the future holds. Hell, Trump could get RE ELECTED. The virus could get even worse…a different pandemic could happen. We. Just. Don’t. Know.

So…now that I’ve said all this…let’s sit back and see what we can take from 2020 so far.

  • we have learned to appreciate our family so much more
  • we have come to understand what a privilege it is to have access to a wide variety of food
  • we appreciate our freedom to just run out for a coffee or drinks with friends
  • we appreciate our healthcare system

I could go on and on. For me personally, I appreciate my resilience and my ability to adapt to change. I’m thankful that I have my workouts still because without them my mental state would have been terrible. I am thankful that I have my family and an awesome quarantine buddy in Mike. I am so glad I started meditating pre pandemic because that’s helped me a ton. But above all else… isolation gave me a gift.

It gave me an opportunity to take a step back and let my grief happen. I got to slow down and spend some time with myself and my brain. Believe it or not…the lockdown was a blessing for me. It hit my reset button and I am super thankful for that.

So when you start to wish away the hours, days, months and years my hope for you all is that you take a step back and think of what you’re learning from your present situation. I hope this post finds you well.

Patti xo

Taken on our summer getaway this year at Lake on the Mountain

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