Lack of focus
These are all things that impact us when we are grieving. And grief is not something that just impacts us when a person dies. There are all different types of grief that we will experience throughout our lives.
Think of it like this…grief happens when we lose something or someone. So if we take that statement and thoroughly examine it we can understand the following things:
We grieve when a relationship ends
We grieve when we lose a job
We grieve the loss of a friendship
We grieve the loss of a pet
We grieve the loss of a lifestyle
We grieve the loss of freedom
*obviously not an exhaustive list..just some examples
These statements used to make me really really angry. I was so caught up in my own grief that I was offended that people would think this way. How dare they compare a loss of a pet or a divorce to what I was experiencing??
But nobody was doing that. Making these statements doesn’t take away from my experience with grief. Everyone’s experience in this lifetime with anything is different because there are so many different factors at play.
First of all, with a loss, people start at all different places in their lives when it happens. Some are more emotionally equipped to deal with it. There are many other factors too, like the relationship you had with the person, your belief system…it goes on and on. It’s a PERSONAL experience related only to you and you alone. I can’t for example begin to understand another parents loss or their journey. How could I? I don’t know how they feel. I can relate to the person and their situation but I don’t know how they feel.
When I say we are all grieving…let’s take 2020 as an example.
We lost our sense of normalcy. Our lives will never be the same. Not ever. This is 100% a situation that will trigger a grief response.
So here are some things I would suggest to help you through:
Get outside, even if it’s freezing cold and only for 15 minutes. You need to change it up.
Find one thing that brings you joy. It can be as simple as hiding in the bathroom with candles and a bubble bath.
Practice gratitude. Find 3 things a day you are grateful for. Some days for me, I struggle with it, but you can find them. It can be as silly as, I am grateful for running water in my home.
Move around. I know…this is hard but moving your body releases endorphins that make you feel GOOD.
Incorporate healthier meal options. Trust me, the donuts may give you comfort temporarily, but the sugar will make you feel like shit after.
I would suggest the book The Grief Recovery Handbook by John W James and Russell Friedman. It has fantastic exercises in it to help work your way through.
Get Social – Phone a friend. Do a video call. Have a social distance visit outside. You need other people, it’s a basic human need.
These things will all help you. And it’s just a start! Keep following me here so we can continue wending our way together.
Until next time,