Not street signs. Signs from above, the universe, your relatives that have moved on from this life. I do. I am a believer, Too many things have happened in my lifetime to be a doubter. This post will not be for everyone, and that’s ok. If you are a believer, or are on the fence. READ ON
Throughout my life, I have received signs. For the majority of my lifetime, I dismissed them. I doubted. I wasn’t ready yet to accept that there is a power greater than me. The timing and sheer accuracy of some of these signs scared the living shit outta me to be honest. So I dismissed alot to coincedence, my imagination etc.
I am going to fast forward the signs I have received to the day that Kayla had Elena and what happened just prior to her having that seizure that ultimately claimed her life.
First of all, there’s the gut feeling. The feeling that something is not right at all, It is not thinking negatively. It’s your gut, the very very depth of your soul that you know..there’s something HORRIBLE coming. I felt that. In hindsight, I felt it as soon as Kayla told me she was pregnant. I pushed it aside. The day that Kayla went in the hospital in distress, it came back with full force.
I got to see Kayla after she had Elena. She was in rough shape, but concious and talking to me. That in itself is a gift I will always be thankful for. She sent me to see Elena in the nursery and I told her I loved her and I would see her soon. That was our last in person conversation.
After seeing Elena, I went to the washroom. As I was washing my hands, I looked on my shirt and there was a wet spot, in the shape of a heart. I looked at it and knew something was wrong. I headed back to her room and heard the code blue announcement. That was the start of the worst week of my life, but I feel like that heart was meant to comfort me when I look back on it.
Seems weird and far fetched right? I understand. I know it sounds like I’m crazy. Just bear with me because there is so much more.
About a week after Kayla passed, I had a dream. In it, Kayla came to me and she was about 6 years old. The place was dark, almost like a silhouette, a two dimensional area. Kayla had a little backpack on and she was skipping along a path, grabbing and holding my hand. She said, come on, I’m gonna be late! I asked where we were going, and she pointed down the path and said, sometimes, you just have to wend mom. And then I woke up. I was relieved at how happy she was, and immediatel y thought, WTF does wend mean? Turns out it is a very old word used to describe going to a destination, but not following a direct path. This is where the name for this site came from. To me, she was telling me she was ok, and she would be getting to where she needed to go eventually. Prior to this, I was plagued with horrible thoughts and nightmares (when I could sleep) worrying about where she was and if she was ok. This dream was a turning point for me. I slept after this.
Beyond this, there have been countless songs that come on the radio at just the right moment, the cardinals that randomly and abundantly show up for me when I am thinking of her, feathers that float up in a weird location just when I needed comfort. So many many many things.
Today…today was the best one yet. And it came in multiple parts.
First off, I read angel cards. It’s ok if you’re not into it, but if you’ve gotten this far then you’re at least curious or think I’ve totally lost it. I have a long history with Tarot cards and I can fill you in at some other point in time. Anyway…I did my morning meditations and normally I quiet my mind but today I felt so full of gratitude, and so positively charged that I sat for the entire time thanking the universe for basically everything in my life and repeating my positive affirmations over and over again.
After this, I read my cards. I asked how I needed to focus my energy moving into my vacation time. I got Ask and Receive and it basically was telling me to trust the angels and the universe and they will give me what I need. It also told me to practice gratitude which I did. I said a gratitude prayer and felt uplifted on a cold and snowy day.
After showering etc, I look at my phone to see a Facebook notification. Someone had liked a post from Jan 19, 2017. It was something Kayla had posted (she slipped into her coma Jan 23 2017). It was celebrating our “Friendaversary” and she captioned it with Love you mom. I admit, I cried, I got chills, all of it, but I felt GOOD, blessed and so thankful to hear that. I knew she wanted me to see that today.
That absolutely DID NOT prepare me for what happened after this…lol as is often the case with this stuff.
I called Kristina like I do every morning. My almost 3 year old grandson Landon who has never met Kayla, comes out with: “Nana has to get pumpkins for her house. Kayla is getting them. Kayla says Love you mom ok Nana?” I shit you not this happened. Kayla loved Halloween.
This brought me immense comfort. I felt compelled to share and to share it now. It is not my job to convince anyone that this stuff is real.
If you are interested in receiving signs, it’s pretty straightforward: You simply need to have an open mind and tell the universe you are ready.
Then, wait for the magic to appear. I promise you, when you are truly ready and accepting it will happen.
I hope this post finds you well. Until next time,