Have you ever really dug in to your heart to see what really lives there and fires you up? What will get you out of bed in the morning with no regrets..that makes you WANT to be here?
I have been doing so much of that of late. Turns out, what sets my HEART ON FIRE…is this! Writing, leading from heart and showing the way..that it is NEVER too late, you are never too hurt, you are never too far gone to start that healing process.
You are capable of love, health, happiness and peace. You may not believe me right now, but you so are.
I’m going to talk today about how far I have come on this journey and why.
I am in such a place of elevation in my mindset, in my heart and in my soul. I know I deserve happiness and I am in a space to allow that. Why would I not want to share this? Why would I not want everyone in this place with me?
How did this process start?
As it turns out..it started before I needed it to. Years prior to losing Kayla, I set out to better myself. I needed health and I needed to lose the crippling anxiety and shitty levels of non existent self esteem in order to get there. And as part of this, I quit smoking..and that was step one in a long ass journey. When I finally quit smoking successfully it gave me power over so much. It gave me the confidence that I could actually do something for myself and stick to it. And it started this ball rolling that gathered so much in the process.
Once I started feeling so good, I thought, I can do even better than this! So I started exercising. Back in the day it was me in my house using Jillian Michaels workouts on some stray DVD I think. But then I noticed that my anxiety started to pass. I felt even more in control and so, I kept at it.
Then I started researching how to eat a bit better. And my mindset started improving more. And then..I started to find like minded people and talk about all of this stuff with them.
THAT led me to the platform I use today and have for over seven years. It gave me so much for workouts and eating but it was more..I became part of a community and began discovering more and more tools that I could use.
Fast forward to that awful worst time of my life…when everything changed. To say we all experienced trauma and terrible loss is something that can’t be expressed through words on a page but I digress.
I was laying in my bed, paralyzed through my emotions and hurt and shitty awful awfulness and I decided it was enough. I got dressed and I did a workout..and guess what? I cried so hard through it, I released so so much and it made me feel a small amount of relief. To see a small window of light albeit far away at the end of that tunnel but it was there felt so good.
I have leaned into so much of this..the meditation that has expanded to a daily ritual, the podcasts I listen to, the workouts I do, the blog, the way I eat to make myself feel good. These are all things that I attribute to helping me get where I am today. In a good place. I am so thankful for all of this.
These tools work. They are the foundation to wellness. I will be continuing to scream all of this from the rooftops to help everyone that is ready to listen.
I am working through exactly what this is going to look like…me helping you through whatever it is you are experiencing..or preparing you in advance of whatever life throws your way.
Stay tuned because I have so much to share.