Welcome to my piece of the internet! My name is Patti Farnan. Wending our way is a blog that shares my personal experiences with loss and the tools I use to help me cope. 

I lost my dad in a motorcycle accident in 1994 when I was 24 years old. It was incredibly traumatic for me as my dad and I were very close and although I’d been through loss before, nothing in the world can prepare you for the loss of a parent. 

In 2007 I left an emotionally abuse marriage with 2 pre teen girls. It took me many years of self help books and soul searching to get to a place where I was in a healthy enough place to have a relationship with myself. 

Around 2015 I discovered a program called Beachbody. The workouts and nutrition programs not only helped me lose and maintain an over 20 pound weight loss, they helped me take my relationship with myself to the next level and that led to my present spouse.

On January 31st, 2017, I experienced another incredibly tragic loss- My eldest daughter Kayla. Kayla was pregnant and was rushed to the hospital in the early morning hours of January 23rd because of extremely high blood pressure and intense pain. She delivered a healthy although preterm little girl by emergency c-section. Post surgery, Kayla suffered a massive seizure and brain clot and was diagnosed with HELLP syndrome, a severe and deadly form of pre-eclampsia. Kayla fought for 8 days, undergoing brain surgery, before it was ultimately determined that she was not going to make it. The hardest decision of my life was to remove life support.

This experience put me in a super dark place-the darkest I have ever been in. 

The term “Wending my way” came to me in a dream that I had not long after Kayla passed. She told me that she was ok, and that she would get to where she was going-she just had to Wend. Wending means to get to a destination in a roundabout about way, or not following a direct path to get there. This dream reaffirmed everything I believe about what happens after you die and even made my beliefs stronger. 

I attribute so many things to where I’m at today…but the support of family, friends and an amazing group of bereaved moms in my peer support group are at the top. Second to this, I do attribute to my healthy lifestyle of eating clean, exercising and daily meditation.  All of these things along with my choice to look at things in a positive light even when it’s difficult to do so, make up who I am. 

It is my hope that sharing my stories, thoughts and suggestions will help people live their best life in the most positive way possible. 

I hope that today finds you well and look forward to speaking with you!

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