Author: pattifarnan
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Don’t dim your light for anyone
That expression is something I wish I had fully grasped when I was younger, it sure would have saved me a lot of heartache. So many moments when I lowered my flame to make other people feel better about themselves, to not ‘steal their spotlight” .. And I was aware of this expression all of…
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Asking for help
Hello all! Today I want to talk about asking for help! If you have been following along my journey on my socials, you will know that I have been deep diving into Growth Day (if you don’t know what that is, let me know, and I’ll tell you all about it!) And, during one of…
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Past Traumas and their uninvited appearances
No matter where you are in your journey-if you have a past traumas, they’re going to show up at some point. And generally when you’re not expecting it or more often than not, when you’re in a really good place mentally. This happened to me recently and here is how I’ve been working to pull…
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Are you in a toxic relationship with yourself?
The longest relationship you will have in your life is the one you have with yourself. What kind of relationship is it? Is it healthy? Toxic? All over the place? Take a few minutes and really consider the following: How are you speaking to yourself? Is it how you would speak to someone you love…
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Fresh Starts, New Habits and How to FINALLY Just Do IT!
Ok..that is quite the title this week now isn’t it? I know it’s a big claim, but I promise you…if I can wend my way through this, you can too!! I want to start off first by providing some background and talking about what I have started for context. I am officially in menopause and…
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Slowing Down
We recently went on a week long beach vacation. It was glorious! I averaged about 15 minutes a day being connected to the internet (and most days I didn’t connect at all) which for me, was a game changer when we got back. The first thing I realized is that my mindset was way more…
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Are you hyper-focused on the “big picture”?
Overwhelm, spinning, burnt out….these have been my self descriptive words for the past few months. Yes MONTHS. I am so tired of feeling this way. I am so fortunate that my internal makeup has the capacity to tell me when enough is enough. That it is time to figure this out. I know not everyone…
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Why I truly believe I got Shingles
Good morning friends! It’s been a minute, hasn’t it? Life has been going really well, my Epicure business is thriving, my full time job is busy, nice weather is coming and I’m doing so much work in therapy. So how the hell did I end up with SHINGLES? I think it’s the work in therapy.…
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Setting Sail
Anyone that experiences a traumatic or significant loss has no choice but to alter the course they were on in life. True statement above. You are so forever changed that your old life dies with your loved one. That being said, sometimes we get stuck trying so hard to get back to how we were…
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Sparkling Water
This blog always talks about my personal path to healing post traumatic loss. This entry is just that! Today I want to talk about my choice to abstain from alcohol. I would not say that I had an issue with alcohol abuse, however, 2 months in , I feel really good! Let’s talk a bit…
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Happy New Year
Good blessed morning! As I sit here at the start of this beautiful new year..this clean slate, this untouched blanket of snow..the birth of something new and great…I have spent the last 4 hours in mostly silent contemplation. Contemplating how far I have come. Reflecting on all the amazing lessons I have learned in the…
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My story and an invitation
Today’s blog post is actually a VLOG!! I wanted to explain where I am coming from and how I’ve crawled out of that mindset black hole. For Kayla’s story please click here https://www.cbc.ca/player/play/2080128579863/ Email me if you want to start this journey with me pattifarnan@gmail.com Xo Patti
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What is holding you back?
I went for a walk last weekend on one of my favorite trails. I had been really busy all week with work and was feeling suffocated from being inside all week. For me, when I feel like that (incidentally this works for EVERYONE-there have been studies) I hit the trail. Well…it wasn’t the experience I…
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Never too late
Have you ever really dug in to your heart to see what really lives there and fires you up? What will get you out of bed in the morning with no regrets..that makes you WANT to be here? I have been doing so much of that of late. Turns out, what sets my HEART ON…
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Purpose
Meditation has been pivotal in this journey towards healing, light and purpose. I have written about this before because it has been such a HUGE and amazing piece in that puzzle. Meditation puts my spirit back to that calm and rational place that we should all exist within but it also does so so much…
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Bravery and Full Circle Moments
Good morning. Today’s post is a little different than normal. I am sharing today that I was approached about a month ago by journalists from CBC’s The National- Chelsea Gomez and Tara Carman. They came across this blog when researching for a series on the lack of a consistent reporting system for maternal death in…
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Epiphanies
Good morning to you all! I want to write today about an epiphany I had this morning while listening to my morning affirmation. I have so much to be grateful for in my life. It is INCREDIBLY abundant. I haven’t appreciated it as much as it deserves. The reason for that..I have been focusing on…
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Parental Grief from my Perspective
I’m going to tell my bereavement journey over the past 5 years. It’s what it’s like as a grieving parent from my perspective. I’m going to preface this with a few things..it doesn’t matter the age of your child, nor the type of relationship you had, nor how the child passed, you will experience some,…
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5 years
I’ll be honest. I never thought I would be able to live beyond the heartache of losing my daughter. I really didn’t think I would ever get to the level of peace and ok-ness that I am at either. In many ways, 5 years seems like yesterday and yet it’s also a lifetime. There has…
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The Club
I devastatingly had a friend lose her son recently after a tragic and freak accident. I am so sad she and her family are experiencing this. While there are no words that will alleviate this type of pain, this blog helps me process these feelings and hopefully provides insights to others on parental loss. The…
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How do you pull yourself back up?
Well friends, here we are again. Scary times, threats of hospitals being overwhelmed…gatherings for New Year’s restricted…again. I know I’m suffering from “pandemic fatigue” how about you? How are you doing in all of this? The struggle to stay positive and less anxious is real.. especially when life throws even more hardships at you. Life…
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Still Wending
It’s been a bit! I have not been in the best writing space lately. Alot has been contributing to this..the ongoing uncertainty of this pandemic is the big one. I have been letting some great practices slide, becoming complacent in my mindset. The last few weeks I have been growing increasingly fatigued and frustrated with…
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I love myself enough
I’ve been absent from the blog for a few weeks now…life’s been really busy, my mindset has not been in the best space to focus on writing. Today though, I had a bit of an epiphany. Today’s post is not as much about my grief journey as it is about mindset and about loving yourself…
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Gut Check
Things are starting to change again in the world at a rapid pace. Businesses are reopening, people are getting vaccinated, less people are sick and workplaces are preparing for employees to come back to work in person. All of this is long awaited and for many, very exciting. We all need to be around other…
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The Side Effects of Grief
There is no doubt that loss changes us. That fact is indisputable. The loss and resulting grief is and always will be there. And that is the same for every person in this world. No matter who you are, where you live, or what you believe, you will lose someone at some point in your…
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Quien tú Eres? (Who Are You?)
This week so far has been awesome! I’m on vacation, Epicure “sidegig” is taking off and Mike got his second dose of the vaccine! All positive things. This morning, I did my daily calm meditation. These are guided 10ish minute meditations that end with some thought provoking prompts and quotes. Today, it spoke about your…
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What would you tell your younger self?
This week was super exciting! My new business has really taken off and I was interviewed for a podcast! On the podcast, I was asked the question: What would you tell your younger self? My response was twofold: I said take care of your body sooner and don’t care what everyone thinks. Got me thinking…
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Gratitude
I woke up today in such a space of gratitude, that it started a chain of feelings and events that made things just start to click in my mind. I feel like I am finally truly grasping the lessons I took in my daily Unlimited 40 day practice. When you exist in such a state…
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What are you running from?
This quote this morning during my meditation grabbed me. I have faced more than my share of difficulty to put it mildly. And it has all changed me. It’s changed me in so many ways that when I run into people from my past, they are blown away by the transformation. It’s like being reborn.…
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Your Life, your terms
We suffered another sad loss this week, unrelated to Covid. A wonderful woman, a mother figure, a staple in our lives, started feeling unwell a few months ago. A few weeks ago, she was finally admitted to hospital and we discovered she had cancer. Within 2 weeks of this diagnosis, she was gone. I’ll admit,…
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Your words and thoughts create your reality
I did a post this week on my social media after I had a big epiphany and I thought we should talk about it here because it was so incredibly powerful. I have been doing alot of self reflection type of work and working on loosening my grip on trying to be in control of…
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Time off for self care
Last week, I didn’t blog for the first time since I started this blog. I just wasn’t in the right headspace. I blog to share my story, the good, the bad and the ugly stuff, but I am not willing to write just for the sake of writing..and last week, that is what it would…
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Someone out there loves you
This week, I want to cover something that happened this week that was absolutely awful. Trigger warning: this post talks about suicide and mental health. I’m part of many awesome online communities of strong women. Safe places where we can lift each other up in mental health, fitness, nutrition, all sorts of things. You end…
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Shifting Perspectives–Change your Mindset
Why does everything always happen to me? How does the above statement make you feel? It brings me down and makes me sad. It makes me feel or it implies that all bad things happen to this person and there is no escaping from it. It sounds dismal and negative. It sounds like a punishment…
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What a year!
This week marks the one year anniversary that a global pandemic was announced. We were sent home from work “for a few weeks” and we really thought it would all be over then. Here we are..the world indelibly changed: How we shop, how we work, how we socialize and even celebrate. Looking back, I didn’t…
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Perserverence and Ego
This week, I’d like to share a story of perseverance paying off, and how I had to get my ego out of my way. So nearby to where I live, I had heard there was an owl that lived in a tree in a cemetery. I saw pictures and ever since, have been determined to…
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Knowing your worth
I’ve been talking alot this week about knowing your value. Since going back to my Barre Blend workouts and doing the accompanying daily affirmations again, it’s really had me thinking about this topic. There is such a misconception out in the world that if someone values themselves and therefore carries themselves differently that they’re either…
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Older and Wiser?
I had a milestone birthday this week. I turned the big 5-0! Turning this age was not what I was anticipating. I’m not sure what I was expecting…but I was surprised with how I felt about it. I will spare the platitudes: age is just a number and all that nonsense (although it really is).…
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When Quitting is Actually Winning
It’s ok to be a quitter. I know that we are taught the opposite growing up, but I’m telling you now, that mindset is toxic. Now let me clarify. I am not talking here about just giving up on something because it’s too hard, or painful or we just don’t wanna. I am talking about…
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You can’t fix everything
A couple of weeks ago, I did a Facebook post on my page about a turkey that appeared out of nowhere in my neighbourhood. Turkeys are common in my area, however, this one is out of the ordinary as it’s alone, and has shown up in the city rather than a few kilometres up the…
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Control
The workout program I have been doing is called 9 Week Control Freak. It’s a great physical workout but it’s also strong in messaging about being in control of the things you can. It got me thinking a lot and I’m glad I am doing it because I think it’s needed by everyone given the…
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Emotions
Last week, I talked about this time of year and how it impacts me and my plan to help myself. I’m carrying out the plan and I’m doing ok, but it’s still hard and there are still so many emotions coming up. So that got me thinking about how society tends to look at people…
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January
I always loved January. It always felt so fresh and clean and new. It signalled a fresh start. A brand spanking new year of possibilities. I saw nothing but opportunity and positivity. When other people struggled with the January blues, I got my shit together and shone! Then, everything bad that could happen in a…
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Motivation
All this week I have been posting on my social media about what motivates us. I’ve talked alot about intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation. Just to recap, intrinsic is the internal stuff: pride of a job well done, the need to just do it from the depth of your soul stuff. Extrinsic is the external stuff:…
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How will you emerge?
It’s the end of 2020. The end of what’s been a very challenging year. We’ve been separated from family, friends, co-workers. People have lost jobs. Too many people have died. It’s just been alot to put it mildly. And now, as we head into a time of year that’s already very difficult for so many,…
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‘Tis the Season
This week is Christmas. In a pandemic. Here in Burlington, ON, we begin our second lockdown on Boxing Day. Right now indoor gatherings are capped at 5 and they’re asking us to only celebrate with our household. Christmas and holidays for a lot of us, is already HARD. Like really tough. Not because our grief…
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Self Shaming
This week I want to talk about self shaming because of things you see either on social media, in person or on tv. I have decided that that is just silliness. Getting caught up in the shaming has impacted how I run my side hustle, which is being a Beachbody coach. I LOVE being a…
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Mindset Growth and Lessons
I’ve been working on my mindset for quite some time, even before Kayla’s passing. I have completely changed as a person. I’ve come a really long way. From being a super submissive housewife in a terrible marriage who had such bad anxiety attacks I would leave the grocery cart in the middle of the grocery…
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Perspective
I want to talk today about perspective and freaking out about things that, in the grand scheme of things, are either really minor or actually unimportant!! I’m talking about stuff that I see on social media or hear in passing…even (and I’m sorry) complaints people voice to me. We all do it. Myself included. We…
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The stories we tell ourselves
Do you believe you are worthy of happy relationships? A fit and beautiful body? Wealth? Most of us will say yes, of course we do. But deep down do we really? Does your inner dialogue support this? I’m still working through You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay and it’s been giving me so…
Wending My Way 