Tag Archives: #2021

I love myself enough

July 8, 2021Mindset Mission#2021, #50andfabulous, #affirmations, #blogger, #changeyourmindset, #compassion, #feelings, #freshstart, #intentions, #intuition, #manifestation, #mindsetmission, #perserverence, #pride, #relationship, #selflove#knowyourvalue, #wendingmyway, #whoareyou, #whyblog #mentalhealthpattifarnan

I’ve been absent from the blog for a few weeks now…life’s been really busy, my mindset has not been in the best space to focus on writing. Today though, I had a bit of an epiphany.

Today’s post is not as much about my grief journey as it is about mindset and about loving yourself enough to put yourself first.

I’m not talking about saying no to everything and everyone, nor am I saying it’s ok to be selfish. Because, loving yourself is only about you, and doesn’t depend on anyone else.

It’s not selfish because of this. Its internal and personal and I felt it was something to discuss today because I struggle with this.

I found over the past few days, I have not been honest with myself..thanks to a beautiful group I am in with an amazing person leading. Sure, I’ve been doing all the things: meditation, journalling, blogging about mindset and selfcare and all the other “buzzwords” you can think of.

And yes, I have come a LONG way from the person I was, but, I’m slowly and painfully realizing that I have so much more work to do.

I am saying yes to things I want to say no to. I am doing things that don’t support me. I’m dimming my light in order to keep peace and not make others uncomfortable.

This morning, as I was drying my hair, I really looked in that mirror with only love and compassion. It sounds cheesey af, but I said to myself “I love you enough to put you first”. And I meant it.

We need to be our own number one priority. If we aren’t, then we can’t be our genuine selves and our loved ones, our friends and coworkers, people we see on the street..they deserve to see our beautiful light.

We are all here for a reason. I really believe it’s a path to enlightenment: whatever that means for you.

My authentic self is someone that just loves the world and sees the light in the dark. That is just who I am. I smile at strangers, I help others when they need it. I love life.

Please put yourself first. I want to see your brilliant light.

Patti

Gut Check

June 11, 2021Mindset Mission#2021, #50andfabulous, #affirmations, #blogger, #changeyourmindset, #compassion, #covid19, #feelings, #freshstart, #mindsetmission, #pandemic, #perspective, #reopening, #selfcare, #selflove#knowyourvalue, #value, #wendingmyway, #whyblog #mentalhealthpattifarnan

Things are starting to change again in the world at a rapid pace. Businesses are reopening, people are getting vaccinated, less people are sick and workplaces are preparing for employees to come back to work in person.

All of this is long awaited and for many, very exciting. We all need to be around other humans and have that social interaction, but let’s face it..for most of us it’s been quite some time and we have changed our lives to match being solitary!

So now what? How do we prepare ourselves to reintegrate into society? What if I am anxious about it? What to do?

Here are my thoughts, and they are just that…they are not medical opinions by any stretch of the imagination.

Now is the time to really embrace our mindsets and make sure we are practicing our self care the most!

There is alot going on and it is ok to feel anxious about it, I know that I am myself.

Let’s chat quickly about some of this stuff. The vaccination debate is really divisive. People have super strong opinions about it. It is perfectly ok to have your own ideas! Let’s just start there. It is NOT ok to push your beliefs/ideas on someone else. Whatever side of the discussion you are on, my advice is to keep it to yourself. No matter what YOUR belief is, other people will continue with theirs NO MATTER what you tell them. There is way too much emotion involved in this debate for you to sway anyone in either direction and it is not up to you to change that.

If you believe in vaccination and you don’t want to be around people that aren’t, that is up to you. Just calmly inform those people that you will be keeping to people that are vaccinated and leave it at that. No discussion. That’s all. The same goes if you don’t believe in vaccination. You do you, and keep your opinions to yourself.

There doesn’t need to be conflict or debate or arguing or even violence! We can agree to disagree and go with whatever path we are personally comfortable with. I’m seeing so much debate and division among families and that makes me sad. I really hope that we can find some common ground along the way.

So that addresses one thing. Let’s talk about the anxiety levels and what you can do to alleviate them.

You know I’m going to say meditation! Obviously. It is the BEST way to alleviate anxiety and work out what is happening in your brain. You need other self care too. Enjoy time outside, go for a walk, read a book on your patio, do a puzzle, knit-whatever makes you happy and calm.

When it comes to reintegration to society–yes I am calling it that because that is really what it is, I have some ideas.

So many of you have made a lot of really positive changes over the past year and a half. There are also some habits that are not so positive that have developed. My plan for myself is to write it all down and decide what I want to keep and what needs to go away. Then, create an action plan to make sure this happens.

The other idea, is to go slow. Baby step it back to seeing people. Go with your comfort level and be ok with saying NO. If there is a situation you are not quite ready for yet, decline politely. You don’t need to offer an explanation. Just no thanks or not today. That’s it. If your people don’t respect that, get new people.

This is a change and it has potential to be overwhelming and overstimulating. Make sure you’re building that reset time into your schedules. Most of all, ENJOY! Get a little social, wear your mask and be present.

Patti

Quien tú Eres? (Who Are You?)

May 26, 2021Mindset Mission#2021, #affirmations, #bereavement, #blogger, #changeyourmindset, #ego, #goals, #grief, #intentions, #intuition, #lawofattraction, #manifestation, #mindsetmission, #wendingmyway, #whoareyoupattifarnan

This week so far has been awesome! I’m on vacation, Epicure “sidegig” is taking off and Mike got his second dose of the vaccine! All positive things.

This morning, I did my daily calm meditation. These are guided 10ish minute meditations that end with some thought provoking prompts and quotes. Today, it spoke about your identity, once you strip away your ego, titles, jobs etc..it was VERY deep. I actually sat in silent meditation for an extra 5 or 10 minutes and just let that idea of identity swirl around in my brain. It was time well spent and it brought me to earth and deep within myself.

I thought first about all the “things” I am: a mom, a nana, a spouse, an employee, a blogger, a beginner photographer, an entrepreneur(of sorts), a healthy eater, a cook, a cleaner, a bereaved parent. The list went on and on.

Then I started thinking about all that I want to be: a healed person, an incredibly successful “entrepreneur”, an author, wealthy, an influencer, a world traveller, etc etc etc

Then I thought..ALL of these things are Ego based as well as titles and societal expectations. When you start to strip that away…what am I actually left with?

I’m still pondering it. If I am not all of these things…WHAT am I? Is it that important that I figure this out right now?

Where I am at as I write this week’s post is this: I am an amazing compassionate spirit/being that is doing their best to receive and act on the guidance provided by the Universe.

That’s where I am. I am going to continue to ruminate. I am going to see where these thoughts guide me.

I also know, that it is still ok to be all of those things I listed and to want to achieve my goals. I love being all of those titles. I love being who I am in society and my family. I just need to understand who I am deep down inside of me. The part of me that has zero to do with my physical body.

I encourage you to sit and really pull the layers back and ask yourself who you really are.

As Bad Bunny says: Quien tú Eres?

Patti

What would you tell your younger self?

May 21, 2021Mindset Mission#2021, #50andfabulous, #affirmations, #blogger, #changeyourmindset, #ego, #freshstart, #goals, #intentions, #intuition, #lawofattraction, #louisehay #hayhouse, #manifestation, #youryoungerselfpattifarnan

This week was super exciting! My new business has really taken off and I was interviewed for a podcast!

On the podcast, I was asked the question: What would you tell your younger self?

My response was twofold: I said take care of your body sooner and don’t care what everyone thinks.

Got me thinking about how I would expand on this and why I would say the things I would say. So..knowing all that I have been through in my life. Here are the things I would tell myself:

You are beautiful and are going to make a difference

You are smart enough to do anything you want

Don’t let anyone else influence your decisions

Trust your gut and act on it

Believe in angels

Know when to change direction-it’s not quitting it’s rerouting

You are awesome

Don’t take no for an answer

As a younger version of me..I was so insecure. I let so many other people influence me. Even though inside I was a leader…I always allowed myself to be a follower. I allowed other people’s opinions of me to shape who I was.

Although it makes me sad to think about the person I was, I am grateful for it.

It gave me compassion when listening to other people’s stories that are going through this.

It gave me the life experience to help others.

It gave me so much mental strength.

It showed me who I don’t want to be.

It provided me the insight to know when my gut(intuition) is leading me on a different path.

We all have the power within us to stand up for ourselves. We just need to find our voice.

I would tell my younger self to just relax and embrace the journey. It will be a crazy ride, but you will come out on top in spite of it all. You are powerful.

What would you tell your younger self?

Patti

Gratitude

May 13, 2021Mindset Mission#2021, #50andfabulous, #affirmations, #bereavement, #blogger, #changeyourmindset, #grief, #intentions, #lawofattraction, #louisehay #hayhouse, #manifestation, #mindsetmission, #mygriefjourney, #perserverence, #perspective, #pride, #selflove#knowyourvalue, #wendingmywaypattifarnan

I woke up today in such a space of gratitude, that it started a chain of feelings and events that made things just start to click in my mind.

I feel like I am finally truly grasping the lessons I took in my daily Unlimited 40 day practice.
When you exist in such a state of being thankful for all that you have in the present moment, it welcomes in to you all that you could ever want.

I have been focusing on how happy I am in my present life:

I have a comfortable living space
I have a supportive spouse
I am tight with my family
I have a good job
I love writing this blog, it has helped me with so many things
I love my super supportive friends

Are there things that are not best in my life that I wish were different? OF COURSE!! But, I choose to focus on that which is good and therefore attract more of that to myself. The Universe will take care of the not so great things.

I have been writing a daily affirmation even when I didn’t truly believe it: My life is really really good. I am happy where I am and reaching for more.

This affirmation has brought me to where I am today, in this moment of happiness, satisfaction and excitement for the future.
It has welcomed a new opportunity in my life that is bringing me so much joy and allowing me to express myself in different ways and leverage my creativity.
I am so thankful for all that I have now, all that has happened to bring me to where I am today and what I will accomplish tomorrow.

What are you grateful for? What words are you speaking to yourself and what impact is this having on your life? Does this need to change?

This process is not something that happens overnight. It is gradual and it requires you to do some work. It’s not hard work but it is something that you must be consistent with. Here are some recommendations based on my findings:

Try incorporating a morning and evening gratitude practice for 30 days. Then, add in a daily positive affirmation for 30.
Observe how this makes you feel and what amazing things start to magically appear in your life.
Then, level that up; thank the universe/angels/god whomever you speak to for something you want in your life as though you already have it.

This is where I am at and it’s amazing what comes your way.
Report back.

Patti
Xo

What are you running from?

April 30, 2021Mindset Mission#2021, #50andfabulous, #bereavement, #blogger, #changeyourmindset, #ego, #freshstart, #goals, #grief, #intentions, #lawofattraction, #louisehay #hayhouse, #manifestation, #mindsetmission, #mygriefjourney, #perserverence, #perspective, #relationship, #selfcare, #selflove#knowyourvalue, #value, #wendingmywaypattifarnan

This quote this morning during my meditation grabbed me. I have faced more than my share of difficulty to put it mildly. And it has all changed me. It’s changed me in so many ways that when I run into people from my past, they are blown away by the transformation. It’s like being reborn.

The reason this quote got my attention today and got me thinking was the last piece…”we just need help in learning how not to run away.”

Powerful shit. I have been guilty of running and hiding all my life until the last little while. I just would avoid dealing with anything uncomfortable. I still struggle with some things but I am light years ahead of where I was.

I remember even as a child avoiding the uncomfortable. Vividly remember actually. Getting invited somewhere by friends, only to be questioned when I arrived as to why I was there. Little girls being mean just to be mean. And me not confronting it. Just mumbling that I must be mistaken and leaving hiding my tears

Being spoken down to as a teenager by a teacher who told me that math just wasn’t my thing. So I dropped the class rather than trying.

Cheated on by my ex husband for many years and not facing it. Turning a blind eye and pretending it wasn’t happening just because confronting it was too painful.

Stuffing down the pain of Kayla’s death because I didn’t feel I had the capacity to deal with it. Not feeling strong enough. Terrified that this would be the one thing that broke me forever.

All of these things are a lifelong pattern of not believing enough in yourself to just deal with it and end your own suffering. Believing that you’re just not worthy. You can spout all the self help and affirmations you want, but you have to face the feelings you have deep within yourself if you want to step into that radiant amazing being you really are.

Mediation has helped me start to emerge from my self imposed cocoon of doubt. Daily affirmations, and physically taking care of myself has also contributed to this. If you want to transform into your true beautiful self, you have to immerse yourself in the work. You can’t half ass it. You need to get in there and see the ugliness that’s there. You have to deal with it all.

You need to learn how not to run away.

Patti
Xo

Your words and thoughts create your reality

April 14, 2021Mindset Mission#2020, #2021, #50andfabulous, #bereavement, #birthdays, #blogger, #changeyourmindset, #ego, #freshstart, #goals, #goalsetting, #grief, #intentions, #lawofattraction, #louisehay #hayhouse, #manifestation, #mindsetmission, #mygriefjourney, #perserverence, #perspective, #selfcare, #selflove#knowyourvalue, #wendingmyway, #whyblog #mentalhealthpattifarnan

I did a post this week on my social media after I had a big epiphany and I thought we should talk about it here because it was so incredibly powerful.

I have been doing alot of self reflection type of work and working on loosening my grip on trying to be in control of literally everything and for a bit, it had me upside down and sideways in my mindset.

The biggest self discovery happened this week:

I figured out that turning 50 messed with me more than I thought it did.

When I was close to that magic number, my body was suddenly against me, or so I thought. I was gaining weight “for no reason” I “needed’ to move to lower impact workouts because well you know, “I’m getting older and I need to accept that’s where I’m at”. Looking back and reflecting on that, I mind fucked myself. I know that now. I believed that to be true, I said the words and that is the shit I manifested for myself. Wow. Mind blown. LIke seriously?

I found myself eating things that I KNEW my body hated, because what was the point? I’m getting older and you only live once so eat the cake. And yes, eat the cake is a thing that you should do, just not the WHOLE cake.

In the midst of all this shiz, I started doing the Unlimited workbook that I spoke about last week on the blog. Every morning, you read a few pages of information, then you say an affirmation, meditate and you write what you’re grateful for. You also write 3 things you want the universe to achieve for you and then you let that go. This workbook goes for a 40 day period.

Doing this every day really gets you digging in your heart of hearts. You start to see where you are working against yourself simply by thinking or saying things a certain way.

This was the start of my epiphany.

Then, I listened to an audio lesson on mindful eating. There are meditations you do to understand why you want to eat and helps you to determine if you really are hungry or if that’s just because you’re programmed that way. There is an exercise to write down how food makes you feel. By the way–mindful eating is really just that, it’s paying attention to your body and your food. It’s still ok to eat a certain way if it makes you feel good or you’re trying to achieve a specific goal.

This got me thinking about life in general and what makes me happiest. Then, I made a list. I sat there at 5 am and wrote a giant list about what I practice when I am at my best.

This simple task, showed me in black and white, what I needed to do in order to pick myself fully back up. It’s a few days later and I am back to eating the food that best fuels my body, working out pretty hard core, I’m organized and focused at work and in my personal life and I’m HAPPY! Like so happy. I encourage you to do this activity for yourself and let me know how you feel afterward.

Patti

Back at it! Sweating it out like a champ!

Time off for self care

April 9, 2021Mindset Mission#2021, #blogger, #changeyourmindset, #intentions, #louisehay #hayhouse, #mindsetmission, #mygriefjourney, #perserverence, #pride, #quit, #relationship, #selfcare, #selflove#knowyourvalue, #wendingmywaypattifarnan

Last week, I didn’t blog for the first time since I started this blog. I just wasn’t in the right headspace. I blog to share my story, the good, the bad and the ugly stuff, but I am not willing to write just for the sake of writing..and last week, that is what it would have been.

I let the world get to me over the past few weeks. I struggled to remain positive. I got dragged down into a shitty spin. It all became too much work: the eating, the mindset, the workouts, the staying positive, the coaching. All of it.

I think we are all really struggling again with the state of the world. The pandemic variants are creating havoc. In Ontario, we are once again under a state of emergency due to the insane amount of people getting sick. And looking around, it was the attitude of people that got to me. The complacency, the selfishness and the overall attitude. When a shutdown was announced, people were actually quoted on the news that they needed to get their nails and hair done “while they could”. For real. And I allowed that to really drag me down.

Thankfully, I mean really thankfully, I’ve done so much work on my mindset and created some super consistent habits that will always reign that nonsense in. I’m so grateful for meditation. If you do nothing else for yourself in your life, please at least meditate.

Even when I felt the shittiest, I still meditated. What that did was to help me step outside of my mental state and observe where I was at. Eventually, a plan came to me to get out of the funk.

Here is what I did to pull myself back to, well, myself:

I gave something up that was no longer working for me: Beachbody Coaching
I kept working out and meditating
I meal prepped and planned
I booked a day off work and spent my day outside in nature with my camera

That was all it took.

The first step, ending my coaching relationship with Beachbody was tough. I love coaching. I love their programs. I don’t love that you have to spend so much money to qualify as a coach. I don’t love their restrictions on promotion of other products. I don’t like their sales approach. It’s yucky to me. It felt like–not me. It was a hard decision but needed to be done. I’m still running an accountability group FOR FREE because I love it. It keeps me on track and I love seeing other people’s success. More to come on that group on my social media.

The working out, meditation and meal planning are already habits that are ingrained at this point. No matter what, it’s something that is always done. That doesn’t mean that when I’m struggling I didn’t go to Dairy Queen and I didn’t eat an entire chocolate bunny in a day. It just means that the structure is already there, making it easier to get back fully on track when I’m ready.

The day off work was probably the most valuable thing I did. I got outside. I found so much to love and appreciate in nature. The sun, the new spring flowers and all the little birds and critters. It did WONDERS for my soul. It allowed me to come back and be ME. Patient, positive, loving life ME.

I feel like this little bird, just living my best life and singing its praises. I pray you all are living life like this bird.

Patti

What a year!

March 11, 2021Mindset Mission#2020, #2021, #50andfabulous, #bereavement, #blogger, #changeyourmindset, #covid19, #freshstart, #grief, #louisehay #hayhouse, #mindsetmission, #mygriefjourney, #pandemic, #perserverence, #pride, #relationship, #selfcare, #selflove#knowyourvalue, #turkey, #wendingmyway, #whyblog #mentalhealthpattifarnan

This week marks the one year anniversary that a global pandemic was announced. We were sent home from work “for a few weeks” and we really thought it would all be over then. Here we are..the world indelibly changed: How we shop, how we work, how we socialize and even celebrate. Looking back, I didn’t see even a twinkle of this coming. So what have I been able to learn and observe this past year personally? Turns out, alot.

What I learned about myself during a global pandemic:

I was in complete denial about where I was in my grief journey. I honestly thought I was doing well and functioning, which I was, however, life was crazy and we were always doing things so it was easy to bury what was really going on. Getting into a lockdown, with nowhere to go, forced me to deal with the emotions that were right there under the surface. With the use of my mindset tools I have to say I’m in a way better spot than I have been in my entire life.
I am not quite as social as I thought I was. As much as I love people, I enjoyed not having to attend social functions and just being able to slow things down.
I am super attached to my family. I mean, I knew I was, but now I REALLY KNOW. Being away from them during the lockdowns has been absolute torture. I’m just happy and thankful that between lockdown periods we’ve been able to be together.
I found some hobbies. I love birds and I love photography (and the combination of the two)and I really love writing. Both of these hobbies have been a fantastic creative outlet for me and have been incredibly therapeutic.
I am more productive working from home and I love working from home.
I love shopping online, even for groceries. I would have everything delivered if I could. (we are almost there).
I’m a pet person.
I have awesome cooking and baking skills which have served me well, especially when bread was scarce and everything was closed (no takeout)
I don’t need a gym to get in shape
I am very open to a power greater than myself.

Cool and Awesome byproducts of the pandemic for me:

I started this blog!
I got really dialled in with nutrition and exercise
I got out way more in nature
I got really consistent with meditation
I took long breaks from drinking
I started coaching for Beachbody
I discovered Epicure
I got to spend tons of time with Mike
I appreciate my family WAY more
I get to work from home
I can identify a lot more birds now
I got a nice camera and I’m getting better at using it
I did multiple puzzles
We did a few road trips and had fun exploring
I reconnected with old friends and found friendship with people that I didn’t realize I would.
I got a new grandson!

The pandemic has been awful in so many ways. So many lives lost. So many businesses lost. So many people are struggling with mental health. Kids not being able to be normal kids. I am not making light. I know that I am so incredibly fortunate to be able to work and be safe and healthy here at home.

I have been up and down mentally but I chose to write about the positives today because that is what I am choosing to do from a mindset perspective. Let’s focus on the positive so that is what we continue to attract to ourselves.

Is there anything you learned about yourself during the past year? Did you develop a new skill or hobby? Comment and let me know!!

Patti

Perserverence and Ego

March 4, 2021Mindset Mission#2021, #50andfabulous, #beachbodycoach, #blogger, #changeyourmindset, #ego, #louisehay #hayhouse, #mindsetmission, #perserverence, #pride, #wendingmywaypattifarnan

This week, I’d like to share a story of perseverance paying off, and how I had to get my ego out of my way.

So nearby to where I live, I had heard there was an owl that lived in a tree in a cemetery. I saw pictures and ever since, have been determined to see him. This was a couple of years ago now.

Last summer, I got a new bike and would frequently ride around looking for this elusive owl. You need to understand, I had very little to go on and this cemetery is massive. All I knew of was a general location. I rode around and no dice.

With working from home and lockdown, I started thinking about this damn owl more and more. I literally was obsessed with finding it.

I have been taking little drives around the cemetery looking for him every chance I could get. Now that I got my camera, it became multiple days in a week that I’d just “nip down for a minute”. A few times, I would see people with cameras walking around and I KNEW they were there for “my” owl. This is where my ego would get the best of me. I was not about to ask anyone where the owl was. I needed to find him on my own no matter how frustrating it was.

After many many fruitless trips, poking at random trees and wandering in freezing cold, I finally got over myself. I chatted with a few photography types and within 5 minutes, knew exactly where to find the owl. Unfortunately on that day, he wasn’t around. I vowed to try again.

A few days later, back I went, camera in hand. As I rounded the bend and parked the truck, I saw someone standing, taking pics. MY OWL WAS THERE!!!

I scrambled out of the truck, got the camera set up and finally got an in person view of the prize. And he was beautiful. Like exactly what I was hoping to see, my dreams came true. All because I persevered and got over myself (my ego).

You see, I have the perseverance thing down. When I have something in my head, I will keep on trying until I succeed. The ego thing is another story. I hate asking for help. In the case of the owl, I felt I would look stupid, and even worse, that it wouldn’t feel as good to find the owl if someone helped me. I was wrong. It was every bit as satisfying as if I had stumbled across him on my own. Had I asked someone sooner, I would potentially have had my reward sooner.

My point is this..

It’s never shameful to ask for help. We all need help from time to time. And when we ask for help, we can accomplish things a little easier and quicker.

Easier isn’t less rewarding, it’s just more efficient.

Next time you’re working toward something, yes, persevere so you accomplish your goal, but if you’re finding you’re at a roadblock or just stuck or confused on where to go, or just need some guidance, ASK FOR HELP!! I wish I’d asked sooner, but then I wouldn’t have learned this lesson.

What have you faced in your life that you’ve had to ask for help with? I would love to hear your story.

Patti

Wending My Way

Navigate through life, no matter what path you take. The easy road is not always the right road.

Tag Archives: #2021

I love myself enough

Gut Check

Quien tú Eres? (Who Are You?)

What would you tell your younger self?

Gratitude

What are you running from?

Your words and thoughts create your reality

Time off for self care

What a year!

Perserverence and Ego