Well friends, here we are again. Scary times, threats of hospitals being overwhelmed…gatherings for New Year’s restricted…again. I know I’m suffering from “pandemic fatigue” how about you? How are you doing in all of this?
The struggle to stay positive and less anxious is real.. especially when life throws even more hardships at you. Life at times can be incredibly hard, so what do you turn to when you need to pull yourself up.
For me, it’s paying it forward. I don’t necessarily mean monetarily, I mean pulling someone else up. Doing something kind for someone just to do something kind. Without looking for recognition. Without telling everyone what you did.
It’s seeing someone that needs support or a pick me up, and then doing something – anything even something really small for that person.
In life, it’s easy to get caught up in your own shit. It’s hard to see beyond your own little circle, it’s human nature to be self involved. When you look beyond yourself, and are compassionate to others, it helps your own mindset.
Have you ever selflessly done something kind for someone and not bragged about it? Have you done something just to help without expecting something in return? Try it today. See how you feel inside. Did it bring you to a better level emotionally?
I challenge you today to do an act of kindness and tell nobody. Expect nothing in return. Not even “good karma”.
Spread the love as we cautiously step into another new year that we hope and pray brings healing to the world and another step towards normalcy.
It’s been a bit! I have not been in the best writing space lately. Alot has been contributing to this..the ongoing uncertainty of this pandemic is the big one. I have been letting some great practices slide, becoming complacent in my mindset.
The last few weeks I have been growing increasingly fatigued and frustrated with the way people are treating each other. We are living in a very divided society and I’m sure these shitty times will be well documented for our future generations to shake their heads at.
There are many different opinions- I am refusing to acknowledge”sides” because that to me seems like I’m ok with it. And I’m not.
I’m not here to change anyone’s opinions or mind on any of it. I know that no matter what, I will not convinced you that my opinion is the way to go, just like I know that you can’t sway me from mine. That’s called respecting others.
What I would like to suggest is a truce. A place where we mutually respect each other and just carry on. Where we can actually co-exist in peace!
Until that happens, here is my plan: I’m committed to living in my own universe. My own reality where none of these ugly words are happening.
Yep. I’m ignoring it all. You can call me naive if you’d like. I really don’t mind.
I used to very blissfully exist in my own reality where everyone had the best of intentions for everyone and everything and honestly I was good with it. If it meant people took advantage of my kindness, oh well.
My ex husband made me feel like it wasn’t ok to think like that. He would tell me I lived in my own little world in disgust. I should have known then that relationship was doomed but I didn’t.
Well, I’m older and wiser now. And isn’t it funny that I’ve had to read books and do activities to come back to something that is naturally how I exist?
You can choose to live like this. It doesn’t mean you don’t pay attention to what’s happening in the world. It means you remain neutral unless there is really something that needs action for your personal wellbeing. It means shutting out the noise and formulating your own way out of this mess. It means respecting people’s privacy and comfort levels.
I know many of you are with me.
So off I go, to wend my way blissfully into the calm world where peace and love exist. Come with me, it’s wonderful here.
I’ve been absent from the blog for a few weeks now…life’s been really busy, my mindset has not been in the best space to focus on writing. Today though, I had a bit of an epiphany.
Today’s post is not as much about my grief journey as it is about mindset and about loving yourself enough to put yourself first.
I’m not talking about saying no to everything and everyone, nor am I saying it’s ok to be selfish. Because, loving yourself is only about you, and doesn’t depend on anyone else.
It’s not selfish because of this. Its internal and personal and I felt it was something to discuss today because I struggle with this.
I found over the past few days, I have not been honest with myself..thanks to a beautiful group I am in with an amazing person leading. Sure, I’ve been doing all the things: meditation, journalling, blogging about mindset and selfcare and all the other “buzzwords” you can think of.
And yes, I have come a LONG way from the person I was, but, I’m slowly and painfully realizing that I have so much more work to do.
I am saying yes to things I want to say no to. I am doing things that don’t support me. I’m dimming my light in order to keep peace and not make others uncomfortable.
This morning, as I was drying my hair, I really looked in that mirror with only love and compassion. It sounds cheesey af, but I said to myself “I love you enough to put you first”. And I meant it.
We need to be our own number one priority. If we aren’t, then we can’t be our genuine selves and our loved ones, our friends and coworkers, people we see on the street..they deserve to see our beautiful light.
We are all here for a reason. I really believe it’s a path to enlightenment: whatever that means for you.
My authentic self is someone that just loves the world and sees the light in the dark. That is just who I am. I smile at strangers, I help others when they need it. I love life.
Please put yourself first. I want to see your brilliant light.
Things are starting to change again in the world at a rapid pace. Businesses are reopening, people are getting vaccinated, less people are sick and workplaces are preparing for employees to come back to work in person.
All of this is long awaited and for many, very exciting. We all need to be around other humans and have that social interaction, but let’s face it..for most of us it’s been quite some time and we have changed our lives to match being solitary!
So now what? How do we prepare ourselves to reintegrate into society? What if I am anxious about it? What to do?
Here are my thoughts, and they are just that…they are not medical opinions by any stretch of the imagination.
Now is the time to really embrace our mindsets and make sure we are practicing our self care the most!
There is alot going on and it is ok to feel anxious about it, I know that I am myself.
Let’s chat quickly about some of this stuff. The vaccination debate is really divisive. People have super strong opinions about it. It is perfectly ok to have your own ideas! Let’s just start there. It is NOT ok to push your beliefs/ideas on someone else. Whatever side of the discussion you are on, my advice is to keep it to yourself. No matter what YOUR belief is, other people will continue with theirs NO MATTER what you tell them. There is way too much emotion involved in this debate for you to sway anyone in either direction and it is not up to you to change that.
If you believe in vaccination and you don’t want to be around people that aren’t, that is up to you. Just calmly inform those people that you will be keeping to people that are vaccinated and leave it at that. No discussion. That’s all. The same goes if you don’t believe in vaccination. You do you, and keep your opinions to yourself.
There doesn’t need to be conflict or debate or arguing or even violence! We can agree to disagree and go with whatever path we are personally comfortable with. I’m seeing so much debate and division among families and that makes me sad. I really hope that we can find some common ground along the way.
So that addresses one thing. Let’s talk about the anxiety levels and what you can do to alleviate them.
You know I’m going to say meditation! Obviously. It is the BEST way to alleviate anxiety and work out what is happening in your brain. You need other self care too. Enjoy time outside, go for a walk, read a book on your patio, do a puzzle, knit-whatever makes you happy and calm.
When it comes to reintegration to society–yes I am calling it that because that is really what it is, I have some ideas.
So many of you have made a lot of really positive changes over the past year and a half. There are also some habits that are not so positive that have developed. My plan for myself is to write it all down and decide what I want to keep and what needs to go away. Then, create an action plan to make sure this happens.
The other idea, is to go slow. Baby step it back to seeing people. Go with your comfort level and be ok with saying NO. If there is a situation you are not quite ready for yet, decline politely. You don’t need to offer an explanation. Just no thanks or not today. That’s it. If your people don’t respect that, get new people.
This is a change and it has potential to be overwhelming and overstimulating. Make sure you’re building that reset time into your schedules. Most of all, ENJOY! Get a little social, wear your mask and be present.
This week was super exciting! My new business has really taken off and I was interviewed for a podcast!
On the podcast, I was asked the question: What would you tell your younger self?
My response was twofold: I said take care of your body sooner and don’t care what everyone thinks.
Got me thinking about how I would expand on this and why I would say the things I would say. So..knowing all that I have been through in my life. Here are the things I would tell myself:
You are beautiful and are going to make a difference
You are smart enough to do anything you want
Don’t let anyone else influence your decisions
Trust your gut and act on it
Believe in angels
Know when to change direction-it’s not quitting it’s rerouting
You are awesome
Don’t take no for an answer
As a younger version of me..I was so insecure. I let so many other people influence me. Even though inside I was a leader…I always allowed myself to be a follower. I allowed other people’s opinions of me to shape who I was.
Although it makes me sad to think about the person I was, I am grateful for it.
It gave me compassion when listening to other people’s stories that are going through this.
It gave me the life experience to help others.
It gave me so much mental strength.
It showed me who I don’t want to be.
It provided me the insight to know when my gut(intuition) is leading me on a different path.
We all have the power within us to stand up for ourselves. We just need to find our voice.
I would tell my younger self to just relax and embrace the journey. It will be a crazy ride, but you will come out on top in spite of it all. You are powerful.
I woke up today in such a space of gratitude, that it started a chain of feelings and events that made things just start to click in my mind.
I feel like I am finally truly grasping the lessons I took in my daily Unlimited 40 day practice. When you exist in such a state of being thankful for all that you have in the present moment, it welcomes in to you all that you could ever want.
I have been focusing on how happy I am in my present life:
I have a comfortable living space
I have a supportive spouse
I am tight with my family
I have a good job
I love writing this blog, it has helped me with so many things
I love my super supportive friends
Are there things that are not best in my life that I wish were different? OF COURSE!! But, I choose to focus on that which is good and therefore attract more of that to myself. The Universe will take care of the not so great things.
I have been writing a daily affirmation even when I didn’t truly believe it: My life is really really good. I am happy where I am and reaching for more.
This affirmation has brought me to where I am today, in this moment of happiness, satisfaction and excitement for the future. It has welcomed a new opportunity in my life that is bringing me so much joy and allowing me to express myself in different ways and leverage my creativity. I am so thankful for all that I have now, all that has happened to bring me to where I am today and what I will accomplish tomorrow.
What are you grateful for? What words are you speaking to yourself and what impact is this having on your life? Does this need to change?
This process is not something that happens overnight. It is gradual and it requires you to do some work. It’s not hard work but it is something that you must be consistent with. Here are some recommendations based on my findings:
Try incorporating a morning and evening gratitude practice for 30 days. Then, add in a daily positive affirmation for 30. Observe how this makes you feel and what amazing things start to magically appear in your life. Then, level that up; thank the universe/angels/god whomever you speak to for something you want in your life as though you already have it.
This is where I am at and it’s amazing what comes your way. Report back.
This quote this morning during my meditation grabbed me. I have faced more than my share of difficulty to put it mildly. And it has all changed me. It’s changed me in so many ways that when I run into people from my past, they are blown away by the transformation. It’s like being reborn.
The reason this quote got my attention today and got me thinking was the last piece…”we just need help in learning how not to run away.”
Powerful shit. I have been guilty of running and hiding all my life until the last little while. I just would avoid dealing with anything uncomfortable. I still struggle with some things but I am light years ahead of where I was.
I remember even as a child avoiding the uncomfortable. Vividly remember actually. Getting invited somewhere by friends, only to be questioned when I arrived as to why I was there. Little girls being mean just to be mean. And me not confronting it. Just mumbling that I must be mistaken and leaving hiding my tears
Being spoken down to as a teenager by a teacher who told me that math just wasn’t my thing. So I dropped the class rather than trying.
Cheated on by my ex husband for many years and not facing it. Turning a blind eye and pretending it wasn’t happening just because confronting it was too painful.
Stuffing down the pain of Kayla’s death because I didn’t feel I had the capacity to deal with it. Not feeling strong enough. Terrified that this would be the one thing that broke me forever.
All of these things are a lifelong pattern of not believing enough in yourself to just deal with it and end your own suffering. Believing that you’re just not worthy. You can spout all the self help and affirmations you want, but you have to face the feelings you have deep within yourself if you want to step into that radiant amazing being you really are.
Mediation has helped me start to emerge from my self imposed cocoon of doubt. Daily affirmations, and physically taking care of myself has also contributed to this. If you want to transform into your true beautiful self, you have to immerse yourself in the work. You can’t half ass it. You need to get in there and see the ugliness that’s there. You have to deal with it all.
I did a post this week on my social media after I had a big epiphany and I thought we should talk about it here because it was so incredibly powerful.
I have been doing alot of self reflection type of work and working on loosening my grip on trying to be in control of literally everything and for a bit, it had me upside down and sideways in my mindset.
The biggest self discovery happened this week:
I figured out that turning 50 messed with me more than I thought it did.
When I was close to that magic number, my body was suddenly against me, or so I thought. I was gaining weight “for no reason” I “needed’ to move to lower impact workouts because well you know, “I’m getting older and I need to accept that’s where I’m at”. Looking back and reflecting on that, I mind fucked myself. I know that now. I believed that to be true, I said the words and that is the shit I manifested for myself. Wow. Mind blown. LIke seriously?
I found myself eating things that I KNEW my body hated, because what was the point? I’m getting older and you only live once so eat the cake. And yes, eat the cake is a thing that you should do, just not the WHOLE cake.
In the midst of all this shiz, I started doing the Unlimited workbook that I spoke about last week on the blog. Every morning, you read a few pages of information, then you say an affirmation, meditate and you write what you’re grateful for. You also write 3 things you want the universe to achieve for you and then you let that go. This workbook goes for a 40 day period.
Doing this every day really gets you digging in your heart of hearts. You start to see where you are working against yourself simply by thinking or saying things a certain way.
This was the start of my epiphany.
Then, I listened to an audio lesson on mindful eating. There are meditations you do to understand why you want to eat and helps you to determine if you really are hungry or if that’s just because you’re programmed that way. There is an exercise to write down how food makes you feel. By the way–mindful eating is really just that, it’s paying attention to your body and your food. It’s still ok to eat a certain way if it makes you feel good or you’re trying to achieve a specific goal.
This got me thinking about life in general and what makes me happiest. Then, I made a list. I sat there at 5 am and wrote a giant list about what I practice when I am at my best.
This simple task, showed me in black and white, what I needed to do in order to pick myself fully back up. It’s a few days later and I am back to eating the food that best fuels my body, working out pretty hard core, I’m organized and focused at work and in my personal life and I’m HAPPY! Like so happy. I encourage you to do this activity for yourself and let me know how you feel afterward.
How does the above statement make you feel? It brings me down and makes me sad. It makes me feel or it implies that all bad things happen to this person and there is no escaping from it. It sounds dismal and negative. It sounds like a punishment that never ends. I immediately feel sorry for this person that is saying this.
Now, take that same statement but change one word: Why does everything always happen for me?
This sounds like revelation. It sounds like self discovery. Like nothing but good things happen for this person. It sounds like the universe, or God or Angels or whatever you believe in is doing this person a FAVOR.
See how easily you can shift things with a very simple shift in your perspective? That was a change of 2 very short 2 and 3 letter words. Crazy but true.
I have been practicing this mindset shift (at least doing my best at it anyway) and it is life altering to say the least. I am in a better mood, and my outlook on life is genuinely more positive and hopeful.
When something happens that we feel is a negative…rather than asking why it’s happening TO us, let’s start asking why it’s happening FOR us. Ask what doors will this open up for me? How does this event or thing change the path I am on? What lesson is this teaching me?
Life is so full of potential with this simple shift. It’s helped me see light in tragedy, and altered my overall view on life, and in turn, my beliefs.
I’d love to see you give this a try yourself. In the coming days/weeks or even months, when a challenging situation arises, or something “negative” happens to you, shift the view to why it’s happening FOR you and see where that takes you.
This week marks the one year anniversary that a global pandemic was announced. We were sent home from work “for a few weeks” and we really thought it would all be over then. Here we are..the world indelibly changed: How we shop, how we work, how we socialize and even celebrate. Looking back, I didn’t see even a twinkle of this coming. So what have I been able to learn and observe this past year personally? Turns out, alot.
What I learned about myself during a global pandemic:
I was in complete denial about where I was in my grief journey. I honestly thought I was doing well and functioning, which I was, however, life was crazy and we were always doing things so it was easy to bury what was really going on. Getting into a lockdown, with nowhere to go, forced me to deal with the emotions that were right there under the surface. With the use of my mindset tools I have to say I’m in a way better spot than I have been in my entire life.
I am not quite as social as I thought I was. As much as I love people, I enjoyed not having to attend social functions and just being able to slow things down.
I am super attached to my family. I mean, I knew I was, but now I REALLY KNOW. Being away from them during the lockdowns has been absolute torture. I’m just happy and thankful that between lockdown periods we’ve been able to be together.
I found some hobbies. I love birds and I love photography (and the combination of the two)and I really love writing. Both of these hobbies have been a fantastic creative outlet for me and have been incredibly therapeutic.
I am more productive working from home and I love working from home.
I love shopping online, even for groceries. I would have everything delivered if I could. (we are almost there).
I’m a pet person.
I have awesome cooking and baking skills which have served me well, especially when bread was scarce and everything was closed (no takeout)
I don’t need a gym to get in shape
I am very open to a power greater than myself.
Cool and Awesome byproducts of the pandemic for me:
I started this blog!
I got really dialled in with nutrition and exercise
I got out way more in nature
I got really consistent with meditation
I took long breaks from drinking
I started coaching for Beachbody
I discovered Epicure
I got to spend tons of time with Mike
I appreciate my family WAY more
I get to work from home
I can identify a lot more birds now
I got a nice camera and I’m getting better at using it
I did multiple puzzles
We did a few road trips and had fun exploring
I reconnected with old friends and found friendship with people that I didn’t realize I would.
I got a new grandson!
The pandemic has been awful in so many ways. So many lives lost. So many businesses lost. So many people are struggling with mental health. Kids not being able to be normal kids. I am not making light. I know that I am so incredibly fortunate to be able to work and be safe and healthy here at home.
I have been up and down mentally but I chose to write about the positives today because that is what I am choosing to do from a mindset perspective. Let’s focus on the positive so that is what we continue to attract to ourselves.
Is there anything you learned about yourself during the past year? Did you develop a new skill or hobby? Comment and let me know!!