Tag Archives: #beachbodycoach

The stories we tell ourselves

Do you believe you are worthy of happy relationships? A fit and beautiful body? Wealth?

Most of us will say yes, of course we do. But deep down do we really? Does your inner dialogue support this?

I’m still working through You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay and it’s been giving me so many “ah-ha” moments that I felt compelled to share. That and a follower shared their breakthrough experience with this very thing as well this week.

Hear me out…what are the beliefs about relationships we were brought up to believe? Are some of them ‘Everyone always leaves in the end” “I don’t know why you love me so much”?

What do we tell ourselves when we gain a few pounds? Do we say “I can’t get any lower than xx number of pounds, I’m so out of shape.” “I’m just meant to be big” “My body hates me”

What do we say about money and personal finances? Do we feel that we should always be broke? Do we tell ourselves things like “I’m not meant to be rich” “Easy come, easy go”, “I’ll never get ahead financially”.

It’s the ingrained things I am talking about here. If someone treats us poorly, do we think to ourselves, well, I was in a bad mood and was cranky so I earned that.

Everyone knows at least one person who has that life that never goes their way. There is ALWAYS something going on with them, some problem. Bring them to mind for a second. What sorts of things do they say about their life? Even if they come across as positive, what are the words they are using? If someone offers help, do they say they don’t deserve it? If they come into some money to help financially, do they say, easy come, easy go? If things are looking up, do they say, it’s only a matter of time before something happens to ruin this “lucky streak”?

I knew someone that told me they had the worst luck. And guess what? She really did. She said it on repeat to anyone that would listen. Maybe if she just turned it around and said, you know what, I have had some setbacks but now I have turned the corner, I guarantee you, her bad luck would have been the opposite.

I could go on and on and on with examples. What we think and say become truth. Even the seemingly harmless beliefs we were raised with can have an impact.

Whatever you think, you create. Think about that for a minute. Then write down 5 things you think on a regular basis about your life. Be honest, are those thoughts creating the reality you want to live?

Some of mine over the years:

  • My body won’t go below xx pounds
  • Everyone else comes first
  • I will never be a successful entrepreneur
  • I’m too busy to enjoy (insert activity here)
  • I may not have alot of extra money but my bills are paid

These words will absolutely create your reality. Trust me. Take some more time to determine how you can turn this wording around to create the most positive outcome. Don’t be shy! There is enough abundance for all. I am working on this myself and just now at almost 50 years old understanding that I can change how I think and therefore what I create in my life.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Do you think we create our own reality through our internal thoughts and word choices?

Let me know.

Thanks

Patti

xo

How we know we are making mental progress

I made a promise to myself when I started this blog that I wanted it to be 2 things:

1. True to myself and followers

2. That my words would help at least one person.

I know I’m achieving the latter based on feedback and comments and that makes me so happy!

This brings me to the first. I have been very honest and open thus far and that brings me to today’s post. So here we go.

I have done a lot of work on my attitude and mentality over the years. This does not mean that I don’t have days where I backslide a little into old habits and thoughts. We are always a work in progress and always will be. That is why we are all here isn’t it? To learn and evolve.

This week, I talked negatively about someone else. Like really not nice at all. Immediately after, I felt-icky. And immediately began to do a few things.

  • I started internally berating myself
  • I started having anxiety that this person would find out
  • I started asking myself how I could ‘fix’ this

I wallowed in that shit for a few hours. But here is where the knowledge that I am making mental progress(for lack of a better term or should I say evolving? let me know). I knocked that shit off.

Instead of being incredibly stressed out and mean, I asked myself why I felt the need to say those things? What in this other person that I was bitching about did I dislike about myself? Why did I feel like it was ok to spew this poisonous bullshit? And I sat with that for a bit. That is where the work really is guys…and this is how we know we are “evolving”.

We recognize when we are doing something that is not conducive to the person we want to be, or that’s against the attititude we choose to live by and we do something about it. I challenge you to follow this process yourself the next time you catch yourself in the act of unkindness. Ask the questions, what do I see in this person I dislike in myself? Why do I feel the need to be unkind in this moment . Let’s make the world a better place by changing our mindsets, trust me, positivity is contagious.

I am not going to tell you what the situation was or the details about myself that I came up with, some stuff has to stay personal to me. But…I did ask my Angels this morning how to move forward in this situation, and this is what they responded with.

Needless to say, I am choosing to forgive myself, and move on.

I hope this finds you well, and that you may find this information helpful in your own personal journey to mental evolution (I like that word!).

xo

Patti

Journey or Destination?

Liam and I enjoying the journey last weekend

On a recent road trip, I started thinking about what part of these excursions I focus more on, the journey or the destination.

Most of the time, I am the passenger, which affords me the luxury of casually noting the scenery as we are on our way to wherever we are headed that day. I notice beautiful landscapes, farms, amazing buildings, the clouds…the list goes on and on. More often than not, I enjoy this peaceful part of the journey more than the actual destination.

Other people, perhaps because they are the driver, are simply focused on getting from point A to point B, never really taking time to enjoy the journey and missing out on so much beauty.

Oftentimes, when we are out on these little roadtrips, I see cool little places along the way and think, that would be awesome to stop at. But then I think about timelines and such and understand that stopping along the way would jeapordize our opportunity to get to our actual destination.

This got me thinking about how this can be applied to life in general. Are we so focused on the destination that we miss out on the beautiful sights along the way?

How many little moments are we glossing over more focused on the end result? How many little side paths on a trail have we missed out on? What are missing on these short detours?

In life, we can attempt to take a straight path from A to B however, the universe will usually force us to either shift directions entirely or take a longer journey to get there aka make us Wend our Way.

Let’s try this week to keep these thoughts front of mind. When you’re out for that walk, take the side path and see where it takes you. You never know what that reward will be. Rather than getting frustrated, let’s take a moment to look around and see what’s in front of us that we can appreciate. I am right along there with you for that journey.

Let me know…are you more of a destination person or one that enjoys the journey? I’m trying every day to remembet to be the latter.

Thank you for reading,

Patti

xo

Practicing Gratitude and Affirmations

This week I want to talk aboout 2 things I practice and really believe in. One I have been practicing conciously for quite some time now and the other I am new to fully embracing and applying the concepts to.

Gratitude

Practicing gratitude is something that has helped me through alot of tough times. It’s not always easy to do and I’ve been through times where I really felt I had NOTHING to be grateful for. In reality though, if you’re breathing, then there is at least one thing to be grateful for. When Kayla passed, I still followed this practice and it was hard. I look back on the entries to my gratitude journal then and it was all based on the time I got to spend with Kayla, the fact we had Elena in our lives and the support of my family. It was all BIG stuff to be grateful for. I found this practice something that helped me to shed a bit of light on a really dark time. It showed me that I still had a reason to be around. I still had reasons to get up in the morning and breathe. If you’re having a hard time with thinking of things to be grateful for, you can start off with little things, it doesn’t have to be super deep. Things like, I am super grateful for this cup of coffee, because it gives me a kick start to my day and allows me to feel human. Finding a few things daily to be grateful for is especially important in tough times, like the one we are all currently living in.

There are all different methods of practicing gratitude and different times of the day that people do this. None of which are better than the other. There are journals to prompt you in the morning and evening, there are daily planners that incorporate writing things you’re grateful for when you plan your day, apps, websites, books, videos-you name it, there’s always a lot of differing opinions and methodologies out there. For me personally, I choose to do the following these days:

  • I wake up and try to think of 1 thing I am grateful for
  • I have my coffee and breakfast
  • I meditate for at least 10 minutes
  • I either use my calm app to write 3 things I am grateful for or use my gratitude journal(it depends on the month, I am currently going between the two to decide which I prefer)

That’s it! It’s not groundbreaking. I am not doing anything super crazy. The gratitude piece takes me anywhere between 30 seconds and 10 minutes, Some days it’s easy, and others it’s hard.

What I am learning though as I wend my way to an enlightened mind and spirit, is that practicing gratitude is the foundation for the my next practice, which I have only recently gotten serious about which is Affirmations.

Affirmations

I mentioned last week that I was rereading You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. This book is amazing if you are looking to take your spiritual self and healing your mind to the next level. It really is a book that talks about how you speak to yourself and what that creates in your life. Alot of the times, you don’t even realize the things that you say and how it is impacting the path your life takes.

Let’s look at this a bit deeper. Think about how you perceive yourself. You think, I am overweight. I don’t like my freckles, I don’t have time to meditate. I am broke. My car sucks. I hate my job. You wake up in the morning and think well, here goes another shitty day.

How do you think your days will go if you think this way? You create your own reality. A favorite quote from Louise Hay goes like this “A thought is just a thought, and a thought can be changed” Think about that for a second. YOU control your thoughts. Nobody else does, just you. Nobody else even hears your thoughts so you can THINK WHATEVER YOU WANT. What???? Holy game changer guys. Think about that. You can tell yourself anything. That means that,..if you create your own reality by telling yourself your own thoughts that nobody else can hear….then you can create the life that you want by changing how you think.

So how can we change our thoughts? First of all, as with anything, it’s going to take time. It’s creating a habit, and you’ll need to work at it just like you would with changing any habit.

So let’s think of that self perception. I am overweight. How can you change that thought to better serve you? Would you tell a friend hey you’re fat? NO! So why would you talk to yourself that way???? Instead, we can think, I love this body. This body is working so hard to carry me around every day. This beautiful body is what is helping me to exercise so that I can live a long and healthy life. How much better does this sound?

What about the thought when you wake up? Here goes another shitty day…if you think that, how do you think your day will go? You guessed it, it’s going to be shitty because you thought that, and therefore that is what you created. So instead, let’s think this, Here I am, ready to start another day. It’s a clean slate and everything is going to go so well for me today. I am open to all the lessons and experiences this day will bring to me. I can’t wait to see what is in store. This is going to create a different reality for you, and it’s going to change your mindset for the day.

I am not delusional. These things do work if you practice them. We are all here on earth for a limited time. Why would we choose to live it in a way that lends to a miserable existence? What is the point of that? We are all works in progress. Let’s make a pact to at least try. I challenge you to read the book I mentioned and to start or continue your gratitude practice.

It will change your life. It has definately changed mine.

Until next week.

xo

Patti

The book mentioned today.

My Toolbox-Part One

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

First things first….last week after I published my post, I decided to clean up the site and organize things a little better. This is my first blog and using WordPress is something I am still learning. In my haste…I freaking deleted my original post. I was so upset and feeling a bit frustrated. I was like, maybe I should just forget it. Negative self talk right? After a few minutes, I took a step back and said to myself, is it REALLY that bad this happened? Truth is-no. There are worse things in life FFS.

So here I am today. I contemplated rewriting that post. My story. A timeline but you know what? I don’t need to give a timeline. Yes it’s what happened in my life and it ALL made me the person I am today. But…it’s the tools that I used then and continue to use that shaped how I handled all of it.

Back when the kids were younger and I was still married, I suffered from crippling anxiety. The kind where you can’t even get groceries. I can’t tell you the amount of times that I left a cart stranded in the middle of the store and scurried out because I was having an anxiety attack. I really and truly felt at the time like there was nothing I could do about it and this was just my life.

As the kids grew, I finally got a decent job outside the house, and started to look into ways to help my anxiety. I discovered that just moving your body a bit a day helped so I started walking.

Walking turned out to be a great time to tune into myself and be alone with my thoughts. I started to understand that anxiety was a way for your body to deal with alerting you that you needed to change something in your situation. It’s your subconscious working with you. As I continued to walk and decompress, that anxiety haze started to lift. I was able to make some better decisions that would alter the course of my life and I left a 15 year relationship. I gained confidence and was finally happy.

I started going to the gym with a friend and the anxiety was really gone.

Over the years, shit happened in life that allowed anxiety to creep in here and there. Stressful teenage daughter years, loss of friends and friendships, stress at work, loss of loved ones. The list is pretty big. Each time, I turned to exercise in some capacity and I have managed to shift my perspective and keep my positive spin on life.

When Kayla passed away for example, I curled up and didn’t want to do anything. I know that is normal and understandable but this isn’t about that part. When this happened, I felt that familiar feeling of anxiety coming but this time was the mother of all anxieties..it was the crippling, worst type I have ever ever experienced. If you know me personally, you’ll know that I’m not the person that just curls up in a ball crying and saying why me? I did that for a bit and it was justified. I didn’t want to burden anyone else with what I was going through so I kept it to myself.

But…even though this was happening, a few other things occurred and it was like an autopilot reaction to take care of myself. The morning after Kayla passed, I walked. Like I really walked. First thing in the morning on a freezing cold February day, I walked for 5 km. I walked to see my dad in his niche. I had a conversation. I looked at the beauty of the sky-it was so clear, the perfect day. And, it made me feel better than I felt before I did it.

About a week later, I pulled up my big girl panties and I decided I needed to do something to get out my anger because holy shit I was MAD. I was BITTER. I was not in a good head-space. I went to my dresser, grabbed my workout clothes and turned to a Beachbody program called Shift Shop. It was such a tough workout. The trainer that created it, Chris Downing is pretty inspirational. He has been through some tough shit and the things he said during those workouts: POWERFUL. I did that entire program. I CRIED at the end of most of them. I cannot thank that program enough for how much it helped me get back to trying to carry on with my life. This was the number one thing that I did for MYSELF, that lit a fire under my ass to keep going. It wasn’t a cure, that’s not what I am saying, it was just a shift in perspective. It started me on my way to healing.

All of this is why I push myself to exercise and why I try to help other people. I feel pushed to share with others how I’m healing in hopes to help one other person. There are lots of other tools in my toolbox, and I will be speaking more about them in the weeks to come.

I’d love to hear your story. Have you suffered from anxiety? Are you grieving? What tools do you use to help you?

Take care

Patti xo