Tag: #bereavement
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Setting Sail
Anyone that experiences a traumatic or significant loss has no choice but to alter the course they were on in life. True statement above. You are so forever changed that your old life dies with your loved one. That being said, sometimes we get stuck trying so hard to get back to how we were…
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Sparkling Water
This blog always talks about my personal path to healing post traumatic loss. This entry is just that! Today I want to talk about my choice to abstain from alcohol. I would not say that I had an issue with alcohol abuse, however, 2 months in , I feel really good! Let’s talk a bit…
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Happy New Year
Good blessed morning! As I sit here at the start of this beautiful new year..this clean slate, this untouched blanket of snow..the birth of something new and great…I have spent the last 4 hours in mostly silent contemplation. Contemplating how far I have come. Reflecting on all the amazing lessons I have learned in the…
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My story and an invitation
Today’s blog post is actually a VLOG!! I wanted to explain where I am coming from and how I’ve crawled out of that mindset black hole. For Kayla’s story please click here https://www.cbc.ca/player/play/2080128579863/ Email me if you want to start this journey with me pattifarnan@gmail.com Xo Patti
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Never too late
Have you ever really dug in to your heart to see what really lives there and fires you up? What will get you out of bed in the morning with no regrets..that makes you WANT to be here? I have been doing so much of that of late. Turns out, what sets my HEART ON…
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Purpose
Meditation has been pivotal in this journey towards healing, light and purpose. I have written about this before because it has been such a HUGE and amazing piece in that puzzle. Meditation puts my spirit back to that calm and rational place that we should all exist within but it also does so so much…
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Bravery and Full Circle Moments
Good morning. Today’s post is a little different than normal. I am sharing today that I was approached about a month ago by journalists from CBC’s The National- Chelsea Gomez and Tara Carman. They came across this blog when researching for a series on the lack of a consistent reporting system for maternal death in…
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Epiphanies
Good morning to you all! I want to write today about an epiphany I had this morning while listening to my morning affirmation. I have so much to be grateful for in my life. It is INCREDIBLY abundant. I haven’t appreciated it as much as it deserves. The reason for that..I have been focusing on…
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Parental Grief from my Perspective
I’m going to tell my bereavement journey over the past 5 years. It’s what it’s like as a grieving parent from my perspective. I’m going to preface this with a few things..it doesn’t matter the age of your child, nor the type of relationship you had, nor how the child passed, you will experience some,…
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5 years
I’ll be honest. I never thought I would be able to live beyond the heartache of losing my daughter. I really didn’t think I would ever get to the level of peace and ok-ness that I am at either. In many ways, 5 years seems like yesterday and yet it’s also a lifetime. There has…
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The Club
I devastatingly had a friend lose her son recently after a tragic and freak accident. I am so sad she and her family are experiencing this. While there are no words that will alleviate this type of pain, this blog helps me process these feelings and hopefully provides insights to others on parental loss. The…
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The Side Effects of Grief
There is no doubt that loss changes us. That fact is indisputable. The loss and resulting grief is and always will be there. And that is the same for every person in this world. No matter who you are, where you live, or what you believe, you will lose someone at some point in your…
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Quien tú Eres? (Who Are You?)
This week so far has been awesome! I’m on vacation, Epicure “sidegig” is taking off and Mike got his second dose of the vaccine! All positive things. This morning, I did my daily calm meditation. These are guided 10ish minute meditations that end with some thought provoking prompts and quotes. Today, it spoke about your…
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Gratitude
I woke up today in such a space of gratitude, that it started a chain of feelings and events that made things just start to click in my mind. I feel like I am finally truly grasping the lessons I took in my daily Unlimited 40 day practice. When you exist in such a state…
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What are you running from?
This quote this morning during my meditation grabbed me. I have faced more than my share of difficulty to put it mildly. And it has all changed me. It’s changed me in so many ways that when I run into people from my past, they are blown away by the transformation. It’s like being reborn.…
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Your words and thoughts create your reality
I did a post this week on my social media after I had a big epiphany and I thought we should talk about it here because it was so incredibly powerful. I have been doing alot of self reflection type of work and working on loosening my grip on trying to be in control of…
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Someone out there loves you
This week, I want to cover something that happened this week that was absolutely awful. Trigger warning: this post talks about suicide and mental health. I’m part of many awesome online communities of strong women. Safe places where we can lift each other up in mental health, fitness, nutrition, all sorts of things. You end…
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Shifting Perspectives–Change your Mindset
Why does everything always happen to me? How does the above statement make you feel? It brings me down and makes me sad. It makes me feel or it implies that all bad things happen to this person and there is no escaping from it. It sounds dismal and negative. It sounds like a punishment…
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What a year!
This week marks the one year anniversary that a global pandemic was announced. We were sent home from work “for a few weeks” and we really thought it would all be over then. Here we are..the world indelibly changed: How we shop, how we work, how we socialize and even celebrate. Looking back, I didn’t…
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Older and Wiser?
I had a milestone birthday this week. I turned the big 5-0! Turning this age was not what I was anticipating. I’m not sure what I was expecting…but I was surprised with how I felt about it. I will spare the platitudes: age is just a number and all that nonsense (although it really is).…
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Control
The workout program I have been doing is called 9 Week Control Freak. It’s a great physical workout but it’s also strong in messaging about being in control of the things you can. It got me thinking a lot and I’m glad I am doing it because I think it’s needed by everyone given the…
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Emotions
Last week, I talked about this time of year and how it impacts me and my plan to help myself. I’m carrying out the plan and I’m doing ok, but it’s still hard and there are still so many emotions coming up. So that got me thinking about how society tends to look at people…
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January
I always loved January. It always felt so fresh and clean and new. It signalled a fresh start. A brand spanking new year of possibilities. I saw nothing but opportunity and positivity. When other people struggled with the January blues, I got my shit together and shone! Then, everything bad that could happen in a…
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How will you emerge?
It’s the end of 2020. The end of what’s been a very challenging year. We’ve been separated from family, friends, co-workers. People have lost jobs. Too many people have died. It’s just been alot to put it mildly. And now, as we head into a time of year that’s already very difficult for so many,…
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‘Tis the Season
This week is Christmas. In a pandemic. Here in Burlington, ON, we begin our second lockdown on Boxing Day. Right now indoor gatherings are capped at 5 and they’re asking us to only celebrate with our household. Christmas and holidays for a lot of us, is already HARD. Like really tough. Not because our grief…
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Mindset Growth and Lessons
I’ve been working on my mindset for quite some time, even before Kayla’s passing. I have completely changed as a person. I’ve come a really long way. From being a super submissive housewife in a terrible marriage who had such bad anxiety attacks I would leave the grocery cart in the middle of the grocery…
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Perspective
I want to talk today about perspective and freaking out about things that, in the grand scheme of things, are either really minor or actually unimportant!! I’m talking about stuff that I see on social media or hear in passing…even (and I’m sorry) complaints people voice to me. We all do it. Myself included. We…
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How we know we are making mental progress
I made a promise to myself when I started this blog that I wanted it to be 2 things: 1. True to myself and followers 2. That my words would help at least one person. I know I’m achieving the latter based on feedback and comments and that makes me so happy! This brings me…
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Journey or Destination?
On a recent road trip, I started thinking about what part of these excursions I focus more on, the journey or the destination. Most of the time, I am the passenger, which affords me the luxury of casually noting the scenery as we are on our way to wherever we are headed that day. I…
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Life after your loss
As I sit here with 2 weeks off work on a Thursday afternoon, I was about to pull out the latest puzzle I’m working on and I started thinking about puzzles and how they relate to living after loss. I have long done puzzles because I enjoy the challenge of putting all the pieces back…
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Do you believe in SIGNS?
Not street signs. Signs from above, the universe, your relatives that have moved on from this life. I do. I am a believer, Too many things have happened in my lifetime to be a doubter. This post will not be for everyone, and that’s ok. If you are a believer, or are on the fence.…
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Practicing Gratitude and Affirmations
This week I want to talk aboout 2 things I practice and really believe in. One I have been practicing conciously for quite some time now and the other I am new to fully embracing and applying the concepts to. Gratitude Practicing gratitude is something that has helped me through alot of tough times. It’s…
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We are all Grieving.
Lack of focusFogginessForgetting thingsMood swingsSadnessDepressionAnxiety These are all things that impact us when we are grieving. And grief is not something that just impacts us when a person dies. There are all different types of grief that we will experience throughout our lives.Think of it like this…grief happens when we lose something or someone. So…
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My Toolbox – Part 3
As the final official entry about my toolbox I was going to just talk about books I leaned on, however it turned into more than that. These things all helped me and my hope is this helps you find your own tools for your toolbox. I was my own research assistant and others reached out…
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Wishing Away Time
Be careful what you wish for… That saying keeps popping in my head whenever I hear someone talk shit about 2020. I don’t disagree that this year has been tough for many people. It’s seen us isolate away from family, friends and coworkers, even therapists and doctors. People that needed surgery are on a waiting…
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The Tidal Wave of Grief
I wrote the below note in November of 2017. It captures how I felt then and still how I feel today. It begins the same as every day, a gentle ocean wave- ever present, lapping at your feet. It’s there, gently ebbing and flowing, noticeable, but not unbearable. Then, out of nowhere, the wind picks…
Wending My Way 