Tag Archives: #ego

Quien tú Eres? (Who Are You?)

This week so far has been awesome! I’m on vacation, Epicure “sidegig” is taking off and Mike got his second dose of the vaccine! All positive things.

This morning, I did my daily calm meditation. These are guided 10ish minute meditations that end with some thought provoking prompts and quotes. Today, it spoke about your identity, once you strip away your ego, titles, jobs etc..it was VERY deep. I actually sat in silent meditation for an extra 5 or 10 minutes and just let that idea of identity swirl around in my brain. It was time well spent and it brought me to earth and deep within myself.

I thought first about all the “things” I am: a mom, a nana, a spouse, an employee, a blogger, a beginner photographer, an entrepreneur(of sorts), a healthy eater, a cook, a cleaner, a bereaved parent. The list went on and on.

Then I started thinking about all that I want to be: a healed person, an incredibly successful “entrepreneur”, an author, wealthy, an influencer, a world traveller, etc etc etc

Then I thought..ALL of these things are Ego based as well as titles and societal expectations. When you start to strip that away…what am I actually left with?

I’m still pondering it. If I am not all of these things…WHAT am I? Is it that important that I figure this out right now?

Where I am at as I write this week’s post is this: I am an amazing compassionate spirit/being that is doing their best to receive and act on the guidance provided by the Universe.

That’s where I am. I am going to continue to ruminate. I am going to see where these thoughts guide me.

I also know, that it is still ok to be all of those things I listed and to want to achieve my goals. I love being all of those titles. I love being who I am in society and my family. I just need to understand who I am deep down inside of me. The part of me that has zero to do with my physical body.

I encourage you to sit and really pull the layers back and ask yourself who you really are.

As Bad Bunny says: Quien tú Eres?

Patti

xo

What would you tell your younger self?

This week was super exciting! My new business has really taken off and I was interviewed for a podcast!

On the podcast, I was asked the question: What would you tell your younger self? 

My response was twofold: I said take care of your body sooner and don’t care what everyone thinks. 

Got me thinking about how I would expand on this and why I would say the things I would say. So..knowing all that I have been through in my life. Here are the things I would tell myself:

You are beautiful and are going to make a difference

You are smart enough to do anything you want

Don’t let anyone else influence your decisions

Trust your gut and act on it

Believe in angels

Know when to change direction-it’s not quitting it’s rerouting

You are awesome

Don’t take no for an answer

As a younger version of me..I was so insecure. I let so many other people influence me. Even though inside I was a leader…I always allowed myself to be a follower. I allowed other people’s opinions of me to shape who I was. 

Although it makes me sad to think about the person I was, I am grateful for it.

It gave me compassion when listening to other people’s stories that are going through this. 

It gave me the life experience to help others.

It gave me so much mental strength.

It showed me who I don’t want to be.

It provided me the insight to know when my gut(intuition) is leading me on a different path.

We all have the power within us to stand up for ourselves. We just need to find our voice.

I would tell my younger self to just relax and embrace the journey. It will be a crazy ride, but you will come out on top in spite of it all. You are powerful.

What would you tell your younger self?

Patti

xo

What are you running from?

Courtesy of Calm app

This quote this morning during my meditation grabbed me. I have faced more than my share of difficulty to put it mildly. And it has all changed me. It’s changed me in so many ways that when I run into people from my past, they are blown away by the transformation. It’s like being reborn.

The reason this quote got my attention today and got me thinking was the last piece…”we just need help in learning how not to run away.”

Powerful shit. I have been guilty of running and hiding all my life until the last little while. I just would avoid dealing with anything uncomfortable. I still struggle with some things but I am light years ahead of where I was.

I remember even as a child avoiding the uncomfortable. Vividly remember actually. Getting invited somewhere by friends, only to be questioned when I arrived as to why I was there. Little girls being mean just to be mean. And me not confronting it. Just mumbling that I must be mistaken and leaving hiding my tears

Being spoken down to as a teenager by a teacher who told me that math just wasn’t my thing. So I dropped the class rather than trying.

Cheated on by my ex husband for many years and not facing it. Turning a blind eye and pretending it wasn’t happening just because confronting it was too painful.

Stuffing down the pain of Kayla’s death because I didn’t feel I had the capacity to deal with it. Not feeling strong enough. Terrified that this would be the one thing that broke me forever.

All of these things are a lifelong pattern of not believing enough in yourself to just deal with it and end your own suffering. Believing that you’re just not worthy. You can spout all the self help and affirmations you want, but you have to face the feelings you have deep within yourself if you want to step into that radiant amazing being you really are.

Mediation has helped me start to emerge from my self imposed cocoon of doubt. Daily affirmations, and physically taking care of myself has also contributed to this. If you want to transform into your true beautiful self, you have to immerse yourself in the work. You can’t half ass it. You need to get in there and see the ugliness that’s there. You have to deal with it all.

You need to learn how not to run away.

Patti
Xo

Your words and thoughts create your reality

I did a post this week on my social media after I had a big epiphany and I thought we should talk about it here because it was so incredibly powerful.

I have been doing alot of self reflection type of work and working on loosening my grip on trying to be in control of literally everything and for a bit, it had me upside down and sideways in my mindset.

The biggest self discovery happened this week:

I figured out that turning 50 messed with me more than I thought it did. 

When I was close to that magic number, my body was suddenly against me, or so I thought. I was gaining weight “for no reason” I “needed’ to move to lower impact workouts because well you know, “I’m getting older and I need to accept that’s where I’m at”. Looking back and reflecting on that, I mind fucked myself. I know that now. I believed that to be true, I said the words and that is the shit I manifested for myself. Wow. Mind blown. LIke seriously?

I found myself eating things that I KNEW my body hated, because what was the point? I’m getting older and you only live once so eat the cake. And yes, eat the cake is a thing that you should do, just not the WHOLE cake.

In the midst of all this shiz, I started doing the Unlimited workbook that I spoke about last week on the blog. Every morning, you read a few pages of information, then you say an affirmation, meditate and you write what you’re grateful for. You also write 3 things you want the universe to achieve for you and then you let that go. This workbook goes for a 40 day period.

Doing this every day really gets you digging in your heart of hearts. You start to see where you are working against yourself simply by thinking or saying things a certain way. 

This was the start of my epiphany. 

Then, I listened to an audio lesson on mindful eating. There are meditations you do to understand why you want to eat and helps you to determine if you really are hungry or if that’s just because you’re programmed that way. There is an exercise to write down how food makes you feel. By the way–mindful eating is really just that, it’s paying attention to your body and your food. It’s still ok to eat a certain way if it makes you feel good or you’re trying to achieve a specific goal. 

This got me thinking about life in general and what makes me happiest. Then, I made a list. I sat there at 5 am and wrote a giant list about what I practice when I am at my best. 

This simple task, showed me in black and white, what I needed to do in order to pick myself fully back up. It’s a few days later and I am back to eating the food that best fuels my body, working out pretty hard core, I’m organized and focused at work and in my personal life and I’m HAPPY! Like so happy. I encourage you to do this activity for yourself and let me know how you feel afterward. 

Patti

xo

Back at it! Sweating it out like a champ!
Yummy fuel!

Perserverence and Ego

This week, I’d like to share a story of perseverance paying off, and how I had to get my ego out of my way.

So nearby to where I live, I had heard there was an owl that lived in a tree in a cemetery. I saw pictures and ever since, have been determined to see him. This was a couple of years ago now. 

Last summer, I got a new bike and would frequently ride around looking for this elusive owl. You need to understand, I had very little to go on and this cemetery is massive. All I knew of was a general location. I rode around and no dice. 

With working from home and lockdown, I started thinking about this damn owl more and more. I literally was obsessed with finding it. 

I have been taking little drives around the cemetery looking for him every chance I could get. Now that I got my camera, it became multiple days in a week that I’d just “nip down for a minute”. A few times, I would see people with cameras walking around and I KNEW they were there for “my” owl. This is where my ego would get the best of me. I was not about to ask anyone where the owl was. I needed to find him on my own no matter how frustrating it was. 

After many many fruitless trips, poking at random trees and wandering in freezing cold, I finally got over myself. I chatted with a few photography types and within 5 minutes, knew exactly where to find the owl. Unfortunately on that day, he wasn’t around. I vowed to try again. 

A few days later, back I went, camera in hand. As I rounded the bend and parked the truck, I saw someone standing, taking pics. MY OWL WAS THERE!!!

I scrambled out of the truck, got the camera set up and finally got an in person view of the prize. And he was beautiful. Like exactly what I was hoping to see, my dreams came true. All because I persevered and got over myself (my ego). 

My new best friend, the owl

You see, I have the perseverance thing down. When I have something in my head, I will keep on trying until I succeed. The ego thing is another story. I hate asking for help. In the case of the owl, I felt I would look stupid, and even worse, that it wouldn’t feel as good to find the owl if someone helped me. I was wrong.  It was every bit as satisfying as if I had stumbled across him on my own. Had I asked someone sooner, I would potentially have had my reward sooner. 

My point is this..

It’s never shameful to ask for help. We all need help from time to time. And when we ask for help, we can accomplish things a little easier and quicker. 

Easier isn’t less rewarding, it’s just more efficient. 

Next time you’re working toward something, yes, persevere so you accomplish your goal, but if you’re finding you’re at a roadblock or just stuck or confused on where to go, or just need some guidance, ASK FOR HELP!! I wish I’d asked sooner, but then I wouldn’t have learned this lesson. 

What have you faced in your life that you’ve had to ask for help with? I would love to hear your story.

Patti

xo