Tag Archives: #relationship

The stories we tell ourselves

Do you believe you are worthy of happy relationships? A fit and beautiful body? Wealth?

Most of us will say yes, of course we do. But deep down do we really? Does your inner dialogue support this?

I’m still working through You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay and it’s been giving me so many “ah-ha” moments that I felt compelled to share. That and a follower shared their breakthrough experience with this very thing as well this week.

Hear me out…what are the beliefs about relationships we were brought up to believe? Are some of them ‘Everyone always leaves in the end” “I don’t know why you love me so much”?

What do we tell ourselves when we gain a few pounds? Do we say “I can’t get any lower than xx number of pounds, I’m so out of shape.” “I’m just meant to be big” “My body hates me”

What do we say about money and personal finances? Do we feel that we should always be broke? Do we tell ourselves things like “I’m not meant to be rich” “Easy come, easy go”, “I’ll never get ahead financially”.

It’s the ingrained things I am talking about here. If someone treats us poorly, do we think to ourselves, well, I was in a bad mood and was cranky so I earned that.

Everyone knows at least one person who has that life that never goes their way. There is ALWAYS something going on with them, some problem. Bring them to mind for a second. What sorts of things do they say about their life? Even if they come across as positive, what are the words they are using? If someone offers help, do they say they don’t deserve it? If they come into some money to help financially, do they say, easy come, easy go? If things are looking up, do they say, it’s only a matter of time before something happens to ruin this “lucky streak”?

I knew someone that told me they had the worst luck. And guess what? She really did. She said it on repeat to anyone that would listen. Maybe if she just turned it around and said, you know what, I have had some setbacks but now I have turned the corner, I guarantee you, her bad luck would have been the opposite.

I could go on and on and on with examples. What we think and say become truth. Even the seemingly harmless beliefs we were raised with can have an impact.

Whatever you think, you create. Think about that for a minute. Then write down 5 things you think on a regular basis about your life. Be honest, are those thoughts creating the reality you want to live?

Some of mine over the years:

  • My body won’t go below xx pounds
  • Everyone else comes first
  • I will never be a successful entrepreneur
  • I’m too busy to enjoy (insert activity here)
  • I may not have alot of extra money but my bills are paid

These words will absolutely create your reality. Trust me. Take some more time to determine how you can turn this wording around to create the most positive outcome. Don’t be shy! There is enough abundance for all. I am working on this myself and just now at almost 50 years old understanding that I can change how I think and therefore what I create in my life.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Do you think we create our own reality through our internal thoughts and word choices?

Let me know.

Thanks

Patti

xo

How we know we are making mental progress

I made a promise to myself when I started this blog that I wanted it to be 2 things:

1. True to myself and followers

2. That my words would help at least one person.

I know I’m achieving the latter based on feedback and comments and that makes me so happy!

This brings me to the first. I have been very honest and open thus far and that brings me to today’s post. So here we go.

I have done a lot of work on my attitude and mentality over the years. This does not mean that I don’t have days where I backslide a little into old habits and thoughts. We are always a work in progress and always will be. That is why we are all here isn’t it? To learn and evolve.

This week, I talked negatively about someone else. Like really not nice at all. Immediately after, I felt-icky. And immediately began to do a few things.

  • I started internally berating myself
  • I started having anxiety that this person would find out
  • I started asking myself how I could ‘fix’ this

I wallowed in that shit for a few hours. But here is where the knowledge that I am making mental progress(for lack of a better term or should I say evolving? let me know). I knocked that shit off.

Instead of being incredibly stressed out and mean, I asked myself why I felt the need to say those things? What in this other person that I was bitching about did I dislike about myself? Why did I feel like it was ok to spew this poisonous bullshit? And I sat with that for a bit. That is where the work really is guys…and this is how we know we are “evolving”.

We recognize when we are doing something that is not conducive to the person we want to be, or that’s against the attititude we choose to live by and we do something about it. I challenge you to follow this process yourself the next time you catch yourself in the act of unkindness. Ask the questions, what do I see in this person I dislike in myself? Why do I feel the need to be unkind in this moment . Let’s make the world a better place by changing our mindsets, trust me, positivity is contagious.

I am not going to tell you what the situation was or the details about myself that I came up with, some stuff has to stay personal to me. But…I did ask my Angels this morning how to move forward in this situation, and this is what they responded with.

Needless to say, I am choosing to forgive myself, and move on.

I hope this finds you well, and that you may find this information helpful in your own personal journey to mental evolution (I like that word!).

xo

Patti

Do you believe in SIGNS?

Not street signs. Signs from above, the universe, your relatives that have moved on from this life. I do. I am a believer, Too many things have happened in my lifetime to be a doubter. This post will not be for everyone, and that’s ok. If you are a believer, or are on the fence. READ ON

Throughout my life, I have received signs. For the majority of my lifetime, I dismissed them. I doubted. I wasn’t ready yet to accept that there is a power greater than me. The timing and sheer accuracy of some of these signs scared the living shit outta me to be honest. So I dismissed alot to coincedence, my imagination etc.

I am going to fast forward the signs I have received to the day that Kayla had Elena and what happened just prior to her having that seizure that ultimately claimed her life.

First of all, there’s the gut feeling. The feeling that something is not right at all, It is not thinking negatively. It’s your gut, the very very depth of your soul that you know..there’s something HORRIBLE coming. I felt that. In hindsight, I felt it as soon as Kayla told me she was pregnant. I pushed it aside. The day that Kayla went in the hospital in distress, it came back with full force.

I got to see Kayla after she had Elena. She was in rough shape, but concious and talking to me. That in itself is a gift I will always be thankful for. She sent me to see Elena in the nursery and I told her I loved her and I would see her soon. That was our last in person conversation.

After seeing Elena, I went to the washroom. As I was washing my hands, I looked on my shirt and there was a wet spot, in the shape of a heart. I looked at it and knew something was wrong. I headed back to her room and heard the code blue announcement. That was the start of the worst week of my life, but I feel like that heart was meant to comfort me when I look back on it.

Seems weird and far fetched right? I understand. I know it sounds like I’m crazy. Just bear with me because there is so much more.

About a week after Kayla passed, I had a dream. In it, Kayla came to me and she was about 6 years old. The place was dark, almost like a silhouette, a two dimensional area. Kayla had a little backpack on and she was skipping along a path, grabbing and holding my hand. She said, come on, I’m gonna be late! I asked where we were going, and she pointed down the path and said, sometimes, you just have to wend mom. And then I woke up. I was relieved at how happy she was, and immediatel y thought, WTF does wend mean? Turns out it is a very old word used to describe going to a destination, but not following a direct path. This is where the name for this site came from. To me, she was telling me she was ok, and she would be getting to where she needed to go eventually. Prior to this, I was plagued with horrible thoughts and nightmares (when I could sleep) worrying about where she was and if she was ok. This dream was a turning point for me. I slept after this.

Beyond this, there have been countless songs that come on the radio at just the right moment, the cardinals that randomly and abundantly show up for me when I am thinking of her, feathers that float up in a weird location just when I needed comfort. So many many many things.

Today…today was the best one yet. And it came in multiple parts.

First off, I read angel cards. It’s ok if you’re not into it, but if you’ve gotten this far then you’re at least curious or think I’ve totally lost it. I have a long history with Tarot cards and I can fill you in at some other point in time. Anyway…I did my morning meditations and normally I quiet my mind but today I felt so full of gratitude, and so positively charged that I sat for the entire time thanking the universe for basically everything in my life and repeating my positive affirmations over and over again.

After this, I read my cards. I asked how I needed to focus my energy moving into my vacation time. I got Ask and Receive and it basically was telling me to trust the angels and the universe and they will give me what I need. It also told me to practice gratitude which I did. I said a gratitude prayer and felt uplifted on a cold and snowy day.

After showering etc, I look at my phone to see a Facebook notification. Someone had liked a post from Jan 19, 2017. It was something Kayla had posted (she slipped into her coma Jan 23 2017). It was celebrating our “Friendaversary” and she captioned it with Love you mom. I admit, I cried, I got chills, all of it, but I felt GOOD, blessed and so thankful to hear that. I knew she wanted me to see that today.

That absolutely DID NOT prepare me for what happened after this…lol as is often the case with this stuff.

I called Kristina like I do every morning. My almost 3 year old grandson Landon who has never met Kayla, comes out with: “Nana has to get pumpkins for her house. Kayla is getting them. Kayla says Love you mom ok Nana?” I shit you not this happened. Kayla loved Halloween.

This brought me immense comfort. I felt compelled to share and to share it now. It is not my job to convince anyone that this stuff is real.

If you are interested in receiving signs, it’s pretty straightforward: You simply need to have an open mind and tell the universe you are ready.

Then, wait for the magic to appear. I promise you, when you are truly ready and accepting it will happen.

I hope this post finds you well. Until next time,

xo

Patti

We are all Grieving.

Lack of focus
Fogginess
Forgetting things
Mood swings
Sadness
Depression
Anxiety

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com



These are all things that impact us when we are grieving. And grief is not something that just impacts us when a person dies. There are all different types of grief that we will experience throughout our lives.
Think of it like this…grief happens when we lose something or someone. So if we take that statement and thoroughly examine it we can understand the following things:
We grieve when a relationship ends
We grieve when we lose a job
We grieve the loss of a friendship
We grieve the loss of a pet
We grieve the loss of a lifestyle
We grieve the loss of freedom

*obviously not an exhaustive list..just some examples

These statements used to make me really really angry. I was so caught up in my own grief that I was offended that people would think this way. How dare they compare a loss of a pet or a divorce to what I was experiencing??


But nobody was doing that. Making these statements doesn’t take away from my experience with grief. Everyone’s experience in this lifetime with anything is different because there are so many different factors at play.


First of all, with a loss, people start at all different places in their lives when it happens. Some are more emotionally equipped to deal with it. There are many other factors too, like the relationship you had with the person, your belief system…it goes on and on. It’s a PERSONAL experience related only to you and you alone.  I can’t for example begin to understand another parents loss or their journey. How could I? I don’t know how they feel. I can relate to the person and their situation but I don’t know how they feel.


When I say we are all grieving…let’s take 2020 as an example.


We lost our sense of normalcy. Our lives will never be the same. Not ever. This is 100% a situation that will trigger a grief response.

So here are some things I would suggest to help you through:


Get outside, even if it’s freezing cold and only for 15 minutes. You need to change it up.


Find one thing that brings you joy. It can be as simple as hiding in the bathroom with candles and a bubble bath.


Practice gratitude. Find 3 things a day you are grateful for. Some days for me, I struggle with it, but you can find them. It can be as silly as, I am grateful for running water in my home.


Move around. I know…this is hard but moving your body releases endorphins that make you feel GOOD.

Incorporate healthier meal options. Trust me, the donuts may give you comfort temporarily, but the sugar will make you feel like shit after.


I would suggest the book The Grief Recovery Handbook by John W James and Russell Friedman. It has fantastic exercises in it to help work your way through.


Get Social – Phone a friend. Do a video call. Have a social distance visit outside. You need other people, it’s a basic human need.


These things will all help you. And it’s just a start!  Keep following me here so we can continue wending our way together.


Until next time,
Patti
Xo

Photo by Madison Inouye on Pexels.com