Anyone that experiences a traumatic or significant loss has no choice but to alter the course they were on in life.
True statement above. You are so forever changed that your old life dies with your loved one.
That being said, sometimes we get stuck trying so hard to get back to how we were “before”. As though somehow, by adjusting our sails on this sailboat called life to catch a new wind that we are letting our person down. That we are ignoring our grief. That we are not allowed. Not allowed to enjoy this new path. Not allowed to learn how to love this journey.
I have tried so hard for the past 6 years to “heal myself”. I have meditated, manifested, read books, listened to countless podcasts, taken medication, worked out, walked in nature, taken yoga classes, and finally…started therapy.
All of these things have helped in their own way but they haven’t healed me. You know why?
Because you CAN’T heal this. This isn’t a wound you can see and stick a band-aid and hydrogen peroxide on. It will never go away.
What I have learned is that you can learn to adjust. That you can learn how to address your feelings. That you can readjust so you can forge a new path.
I will forever be lost without my daughter. I will forever miss her smile, her beauty and her sense of humor. Her awkward hugs. Her laugh. Her terrible driving. That will never go away.
But I am learning how to forge that new path as I wend my way.
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